Noelle DiGiovanni, an influencer and widow, took a month-long break from her social media this summer. When she made her comeback in late July, she shared a memorable reel. In it, she was seen entering her home dressed in black, cradling a large urn, all while lip syncing to a quirky sound bite from Little Women: Atlanta. “Hey, how y’all doing?” she quipped, marking her first post as an official widow to her over 22,000 followers on Instagram.
In her caption, DiGiovanni emphasized her approach: “First off, we ‘JOKE TO COPE’ around here. So if that bothers you, that’s not really my issue. Also, you can’t just erase Daniel from my Instagrams, and honestly, laughing is how I get through life, so if it’s not your vibe… that’s cool.”
Daniel Fontes, her late husband, passed away from stage 4 colon cancer, a loss she had reported a week earlier. She filmed her widow reel right after his memorial service, complete with a black dress, a green fascinator, and butterfly heels— nods to Daniel’s memory. The urn she carried? Yes, that held his remains.
DiGiovanni tells Yahoo that humor is her go-to coping strategy. “For those who’ve been around me for a while, they get my style. It’s odd that they might still feel weird laughing at my widow content, and some even apologize for it. But I’m like, ‘Girl, I made this to make you laugh.’”
‘You Don’t Have to Get It’
Long before cancer entered the picture, Noelle found humor was key to halting loneliness. She started her blog when she became a stay-at-home mom to her first son, Dexter, a decade ago.
“For many, maybe that sounds ideal. For me, it became pretty lonely,” she recalls. Instead of drowning in isolation, DiGiovanni turned her parenting struggles into comic strips. “I’d record the crazy tantrums to twist them into jest. It felt like crafting my mini TV show against the chaos of reality.”
Then the pandemic hit, along with her pregnancy with her second son, Dillon, 5, which further sharpened her online presence. “We were all out of fun activities and honestly just miserable, and my darker comedic side emerged during the COVID pregnancy phase. I recall joking, ‘Is Daniel gonna make it? Because if so, I’m gonna kill him.’”
This gave way to an era rich in dark humor. “Daniel and I always joked that if you find my quirky dead spouse jokes amusing, you’re lucky, as not everyone would. That mentality helped me trudge through tough times,” DiGiovanni states.
Daniel’s stage 4 diagnosis came in January 2024. “That’s when I started wrapping my head around life without him, but we still chased every joy,” DiGiovanni reflects. “I figured out how to mix sadness with joy; everyone deserves a laugh through the treatment parades. Our goal? To squeeze maximum happiness out of the bleakness, knowing every minute counted.”
After their dog passed shortly after Daniel’s diagnosis, she created a trending parody that many agreed perfectly encapsulated healing humor. DiGiovanni would also infuse comedy into their appointments to ensure smiles remained even amidst despair. Now without him, her goal? “I’m just performing for me — my ‘audience of one’ and voicing what brings me relief. Funnily enough, it seems to resonate with others too!”
And if someone doesn’t vibe with her style? “Honestly, some folks won’t get my posts, that’s okay. I don’t have to change hearts. When I hear someone say, ‘I don’t get it,’ I respond, ‘I hope you never do… but this clicks for me.’”
‘We’re Still Including Him’
Even though DiGiovanni’s now faced with single parenting, Fontes remains vital to her videos and jokes. While filming her inaugural reel, she recalls addressing his urn, “Daniel, we need a retake! We missed it!” She chuckles, noting that mentioning him in this footage brings a sense of togetherness, making her feel he’s contemporaneously involved in their lives.
In another quirky move, she playfully yelled at images of Fontes for abandoning her amid the complexities of single parenting and cleverly turned his urn into a couples costume for Halloween inspired by their shared beloved film, Beetlejuice. Modern-day woes included binge-watching Stranger Things on her own.
“Can you believe he ghosted me before the finale?” she candidly shared in a reel. This resonated as many commenters drew similar experiences into the chatter and acknowledging her need for catharsis through funny tributes to lost spouses.
Clearly, not everyone aligns with her expression of grief. DiGiovanni recognizes that while her sister-in-law respects her unconventional grieving style, their approaches toward mourning diverge significantly.
“Of course I have my moments of deep sorrow, but I can’t stay in that space forever without laughter; it nourishes the soul, truly.”
This humorous outlook brings light to Noelle’s life, especially as she and her children face significant milestones, like their recent 13th wedding anniversary. Next up is her turn to celebrate the big 4-0, followed by Christmas. “This December will be quite unique. So many firsts feeling uncharted,” she expresses.
Focusing on traditions she believes would honor her family’s bond assists navigating this holiday. “We bought fresh Christmas decorations, with each one wrapped banked on memories of Dan. We went for a foresty, nature theme, highlighting greens and butterflies. Everything is in fond remembrance of him.”
The three of them will still visit both sides of their family as usual, pleasingly swapping their humble abode for a hotel this year.
“Just like we did on Thanksgiving — I knew that staying here would reignite sadness surrounding traditions; so I scoped out a hotel instead, establishing exciting new ones instead, while attempting to honor his memory,” she shared.
Blessedly, she had a marvelous Thanksgiving and hopes the upcoming Christmas will flow just so. “Perfection isn’t the bar. It’s simply okay.” And as she concludes, she grins noting, “I treated myself to a cool ride for my 40th. Can’t articulate it clearly, but inside, I know in my soul that Daniel paved my way to score that car — it’s a gift that’s still from him. The hotel visit on Christmas is on him too since it’s part of his estate. I’ll even call that a ‘widow consolation prize.’ Finding some silver lining helps me cope!”
