It’s been four months since Hailey Okula tragically passed away, and her husband, Matt Okula, is bravely sharing his journey as both a grieving widower and a new single parent to their little boy, Crew.
In a heartfelt Instagram video posted on July 24, Matt recounted what he described as the “most difficult, emotional, and confusing phase” of his life. Hailey, also known as “Nurse Hailey” on Instagram, passed away on March 29 following unexpected childbirth complications.
Just moments after Crew arrived via cesarean section, Hailey went into cardiac arrest due to an amniotic fluid embolism (AFE). She was only 33 years old.
Reflecting on this profound loss, Matt shared, “Everything changed for me. I lost my wife, Hailey Okula—the love of my life, my best friend, and my partner for the past 12 years. It completely altered my adult life.” This video was also published on Hailey’s nursing community Instagram account, @RNNewGrads.
“On that day, I became both a father and a widower at the same time,” he added, highlighting the sudden shift in his reality.
The LAFD firefighter talked about his struggle to adapt to this new life, admitting that it hasn’t been straightforward. He is still learning how to cope with his grief and heal after Hailey’s passing.
“Some days are overwhelming,” he explained. “I’m just trying to get through each hour, and then there are moments where I find a bit of peace.”
Matt also recognized Hailey’s passion for supporting fellow nurses on the @RNNewGrads page. She often shared valuable insights about the medical field and openly chronicled her fertility journey and eventual pregnancy with Crew, which had captivated her audience of over 425,000 followers before her untimely death.
While Matt was committed to respecting Hailey’s wishes, he wasn’t initially on board with the idea of sharing their IVF journey publicly—a topic he addressed in his recent video.
“We had a discussion about whether to expose that we were entering IVF treatment,” he confessed. “Hailey felt it was vital to be transparent so her community could trust her completely.”
Initially, he thought it was best to keep that private, but he quickly realized how important it was to Hailey. “The very next day, I was at the fire station, and I looked at my phone—she had shared the news herself, documenting every step of our challenge through IVF,” Matt recalled.
Overcome with emotion, he fondly remembered Hailey’s remarkable traits: “That was Hailey. She was brave, honest, and genuine, always guided by her heart. She understood sharing her experiences would help others facing similar trials. And we witnessed the impact of her openness—it was likely greater than we intended.”
Committed to honoring Hailey’s legacy, Matt plans to continue her work as a nursing influencer and keep her spirit alive on @RNNewGrads. He aims to update their followers on his life while sharing the unfinished posts Hailey had prepared during her pregnancy.
“I’ll strive to keep it real. It won’t just be highlights or only grief; it’ll be both aspects because they’re both part of life,” he expressed. “Although this will be a challenging path, I intend to follow Hailey’s lead by being honest and transparent.”
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