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SportWho would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?

12:07  10 september  2019
12:07  10 september  2019 Source:   fourfourtwo.com

VAR system has made four errors in Premier League - referees' chief

VAR system has made four errors in Premier League - referees' chief VAR system has made four errors in Premier League - referees' chief

Gosling is clearly the only choice here. For the film : we ’ re picturing an LA-set song and dance flick in which Howe seduces a feisty redhead (Sean Dyche A bit of hair dye and this casting is spot on. The Brighton boss has risen from unlikely origins to reach the top tier, just as Lyndhurst – nobody’s idea of

Being a Premier League manager is no simple feat, especially when you consider just how often they get the sack nowadays. In an equally troubling statement from Quique Sanchez Flores, who departed Vicarage Road after just one year, having guided the Hornets to safety in their maiden

Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?© Provided by Future Publishing Ltd.

Let’s leave our tactics board at the door and imagine a perfect actor to play every Premier League boss

Unai Emery (Arsenal) – Luke Evans

Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?© Provided by Future Publishing Ltd. Luke Evans

Good evening. If there’s one thing we can all agree on with Unai Emery, it’s that he looks a lot like Count Dracula. Sadly, doyen of Draculas Christopher Lee died in 2015, while Count Duckula’s agent hung up on us when we couldn’t match Mesut Ozil’s wages.

So let’s pick Luke Evans, a fine actor wasted in 2014 snoozefest Dracula Untold. He might like another go as a vampire, this time on the hunt for gullible virgins in north London. We’d start with AFTV.

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Dean Smith (Aston Villa) – Brendan Gleeson

Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?© Provided by Future Publishing Ltd. Liam Cunningham

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Leicester's Premier League fairytale set to receive the Hollywood treatment but who would play Word is that movie moguls are already planning to adapt Jamie Vardy and the Foxes fairytale to the The film would surely portray Claudio as a down-on-his-luck veteran given one last chance at glory

Beyond the title racers it was a good season for homegrown managers plying their trade further down the table. Now post your suggestions.

Two peas in a pod. Smith is hardly a glamorous Pochettino type (no offence), just as Gleeson will never be mistaken for Bradley Cooper (no offence). Yet look under the bonnet of these family saloons and respect the engines beneath.

Smith plays a progressive style of football, just as Gleeson plays everything from hitman to Paddington sidekick with flair. Just get some One Direction berk to make his acting debut as Jack Grealish and – at last – Aston Villa: A New Hope is ready to start shooting.

Eddie Howe (Bournemouth) – Ryan Gosling

Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?© Provided by Future Publishing Ltd. Ryan Gosling

Thought it was top-flight football that was responsible for the rise in ticket demand at Dean Court in recent years? Wrong! It’s clearly the allure of blue-eyed heartbreaker Howe on the touchline.

Gosling is clearly the only choice here. For the film: we’re picturing an LA-set song and dance flick in which Howe seduces a feisty redhead (Sean Dyche?) over their shared love of jazz and Premier League survival. Start polishing the Oscars.

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When the Premier League kicks off this weekend, the top-six teams — Arsenal, Manchester City This season should be one of the most competitive campaigns in Premier League history, as all six If there’s one manager in the world who knows how to live under those impossible expectations, it’s

New Huddersfield boss Danny Cowley revealed he felt taking on the job was too good an opportunity to turn down. Liverpool boss Jurgen Klopp reveals how he "woke up alone in a truck" after Bundesliga victory. Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film ?

Graham Potter (Brighton) – Nicholas Lyndhurst

Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?© Provided by Future Publishing Ltd. Nicholas Lyndhurst

The 58-year-old Lyndhurst may have to go back in time a bit to play the 44-year-old Potter, but he’s familiar with that. A bit of hair dye and this casting is spot on.

The Brighton boss has risen from unlikely origins to reach the top tier, just as Lyndhurst – nobody’s idea of a traditional leading man – became one of Britain’s biggest TV stars. Potter is currently a south-coast sweetheart but football can make fools of anyone, so it’s useful that this actor can portray a plonker with ease.

Sean Dyche (Burnley) – Jake Wood

Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?© Provided by Future Publishing Ltd. Jake Wood

Pictured above in the scene when Dyche discovers where Burnley 0-0 Bournemouth has been scheduled for Match of the Day. Jake “Please don’t call me Max Branning” Wood has the Dyche thousand-yard stare (reserved for a collapsing Arsenal midfielder) down easy.

The only issue is how a Londoner can nail the Burnley manager’s dulcet tones. Sand gargling, 50 worms for breakfast and don’t cough for five years – sorted.

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Premier League insiders are convinced that they can mitigate the damage. Albeit in a different language. However, Premier League insiders believe that the full judgment may call even this There are also major issues for everyone from pay-TV giants from BSkyB to Hollywood film studios and

Frank Lampard (Chelsea) – Mike Myers

Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?© Provided by Future Publishing Ltd. Chris Hemsworth

Cheeky grin, star power and, well, let’s call it a gift for at least attempting British accents. Myers would ideally be a bit younger to play the 41-year-old Lampard, but he doesn’t mind the prosthetics and is a dab hand with appallingly misdirected “fat” jibes.

On top of this, Myers loves a sequel; right on cue for Frank’s return to Stamford Bridge. He also isn’t shy of a massive career misstep (The Love Guru, anyone?), which may be useful when it comes to portraying Lamps taking the Chelsea job as well.

Roy Hodgson (Crystal Palace) – Ian McShane

Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?© Provided by Future Publishing Ltd. Nicholas Lyndhurst

Twinkly-eyed English gents, although the ageless McShane will actually be playing younger as 72-year-old Hodgson. The actor came to fame as Lovejoy, a dealer in dodgy antiques – handy in the scene where Hodgson signs up, say, Gary Cahill.

However, really crucial is that while McShane can be a crinkly charmer, he can also flip into Deadwood mode and start dropping intimidating f-bombs with the best – just like Uncle Roy.

Marco Silva (Everton) – Keanu Reeves

Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?© Provided by Future Publishing Ltd. Keanu Reeves

Appropriately handsome, yet the key thing with Reeves is that there’s an air of enigma to him. Namely – just like Marco Silva – nobody is entirely sure whether he’s really good or really crap.

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In the Premier League in the last two years, have I really seen a game of high quality? I know there is pressure on managers , but styles of play become so negative because managers are frightened of losing their But I wouldn’t be one who ’d be worried about losing his job for not playing the right way.

The last time England played at St Mary’s they were held to a 2-2 draw by a plucky Macedonia side in a Euro 2004 qualifier almost 17 years ago – Southgate was an unused substitute that night and will be hoping Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film ?

Reeves veers between the two (Speed, Matrix, John Wick – good. Replicas, Siberia, Mnemonic – good lord, no). Similarly, Silva sometimes appears a coaching ace, other times a total dud. At least Reeves’ famed bullet-dodging skills should come in handy, judging by Silva’s career so far.

Brendan Rodgers (Leicster) – Steve Coogan

Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?© Provided by Future Publishing Ltd. Steve Coogan

Ricky Gervais is the obvious pick for Mr “My biggest mentor is myself” and his Brentisms. But while Gervais is a great sitcom comic, he’s not been too successful on the big screen. And, for Brendan, we must think big picture; as big as his own living room portrait.

So let’s open the envelope and pull out Coogan, whose transitioned seamlessly to cinema. He can bring a bit of Alan Partridge, a dash of Tony Wilson and a lot of neon-teethed charm. His version of The Trip with a fully Red Bulled Jamie Vardy would be great TV. Episode one: Glasgow.

Jurgen Klopp (Liverpool) – Chris Hemsworth

Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?© Provided by Future Publishing Ltd. Chris Hemsworth

OK, everyone gets a bit of a looks upgrade when it comes to their biopic. Leo DiCaprio as J Edgar Hoover, anyone? Also, we’re sure this is how Jurgen looks in the eyes of Mrs Klopp (plus about 500,000 Liverpool fans) – and in every other way, Hemsworth is ideal.

The 6ft 3 in (192cm), blond, bearded, larger-than-life Thor star is an action hero who also has a gift for comedy. Just slap on a pair of specs, leave off the gym for a bit and practice grabbing Jordan Henderson – played by Chris ‘Captain America’ Evans – in a teary embrace.

Pep Guardiola (Manchester City) – Jason Statham

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Player A was happy to toe the party line: “Sixth. Guys would play in that league and figure it out. I think guys in this league are a lot better than people give Unlike Ridgewell, their perceptions come from television or a trip to England to take in a Premier League game. The inflated numbers may well

• Manchester City manager says title would atone for European exit • ‘The league is everything In the league every game you have to stay there. It would be one of the best three seasons I have Guardiola, who won La Liga with Barcelona and the Bundesliga with Bayern Munich, as well as two

Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?© Provided by Future Publishing Ltd.


It’s not just the chrome dome and designer stubble. Surely only Stath can properly replicate the intensity, charisma and physical exertion of Manchester City’s resident genius/Crank (sorry), while looking perfectly at home in some naughty Stone Island gear.

Worth casting purely for the film’s climactic martial arts showdown with a vengeful Zlatan Ibrahimovic (played by Zlatan Ibrahimovic).

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer (Manchester United) – Leonardo DiCaprio

Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?© Provided by Future Publishing Ltd. Leo Dicaprio

Crueler folk might suggest Anthony Serkis Gollums up one more time to play the beleaguered United boss. But we’re giving Ole the ultimate A-lister who, as Titanic showed, knows a thing or two about portraying someone massively out of his depth.

DiCaprio was Hollywood’s baby-faced assassin back then, but now leans towards meatier projects such as The Wolf of Wall Street – a film about a load of men p------ money up the wall. Not sure why that springs to mind when it comes to modern-day Manchester United.

Steve Bruce (Newcastle) – Zac Efron
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?© Provided by Future Publishing Ltd. Zac Efron

Robert De Niro. That was our first thought on which titan could do Steve Bruce justice. Picture De Niro living in Newcastle for months, wolfing down brown ale and stottie cakes, getting the accent down pat. A few facial prosthetics – Raging Bull style – and boom! It’s Bruce.

But what about his Dirty Grandpa co-star Efron? Hollywood hunks love shedding their pretty boy image with some “real acting” – and this is all too real. Get practising your power drinking/fireplace management skills for that meet-the-chairman scene, Wor Zac.

Daniel Farke (Norwich) – Christoph Waltz

Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?© Provided by Future Publishing Ltd. Christophe Waltz

Two issues. First, Farke bears a striking resemblance to poker-faced ex-potter Stephen Hendry. Second, Waltz is 20 years too old for this role.

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However, the seven-time world snooker champ has no acting skills beyond pretending to listen to John Parrott. No mean feat, but he can’t match Waltz’s sibilant speaking voice which perfectly matches Farke’s – an actual Bond villain playing a nice man (who sounds like a Bond villain). Slap a wig on, Waltz, and get learning your Canaries’ history.

Ralph Hasenhuttl (Southampton) – James McAvoy
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?© Provided by Future Publishing Ltd. James McAvoy

Range. That’s what McAvoy brings to any role. The Scot can play soldier, psychopath, mutant, criminal or flute-playing fawn and not miss a beat.

Perfect for portraying the ‘Alpine Klopp’. After all, players speak glowingly of his enthusiasm and charisma and he’s got the fans on side, yet his press interviews can be remarkably monotone. Bring your Split personality, James (but leave the fawn legs at home).

Chris Wilder (Sheffield United) – Sean Bean
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?© Provided by Future Publishing Ltd. Sean Bean

Too easy. Both are gravelly, no-nonsense Yorkshiremen whose gruff exterior belies their success. Wilder’s unlikely path from Halifax Town manager to bossing the Blades in the Premier League mirrors Bean’s travels from ITV dramas to wielding blades in Hollywood epics.

Now, if someone could just convince lifelong, die-hard United fan Bean to take the role… (What do you mean he’s already in Halifax method acting this part 24 hours a day?)

Mauricio Pochettino (Tottenham) – Oscar Isaac

An early Indiana Jones version of Harrison Ford would be ideal for playing the Spurs dreamboat, but we’ll have to make do with his The Force Awakens co-star instead.

Like Poch, Isaac is a charmer with swarthy good looks and is, in the Star Wars universe at least, the best pilot in the galaxy able to steer a hunk of junk to incredible new frontiers.

If you want to equate that to Spurs’ Champions League final run, it’s down to you. We said nothing.

Quique Sanchez Flores (Watford) – Hugh Laurie

First we were thinking Matt ‘Bourne Identity’ Damon; an actor who keeps reprising a role – playing a man who knows he can be replaced at any time by shadowy powers-that-be.

However, the similarity between the lanky, bearded Hugh Laurie and Quique is clear. Maybe, like Laurie in Blackadder, Quique will keep returning as a different era Watford manager in the future. Picture Roy Keane’s face when he returns in 2023 in a powdered wig and ornate codpiece.

Manuel Pellegrini (West Ham) – Ian McDiarmid

You mean the photo above is not Pellegrini? The force is so strong between the Chilean gaffer and acclaimed Scottish stage actor McDiarmid – AKA Star Wars’ Emperor Palpatine – that we’d often assumed they were one and the same.

We’ll believe that they’re not (for now), despite the similar, soft-spoken tough-guy act. Plus there was the time on the touchline that Pellegrini shot 4,000 volts of lightning through his fingertips at Raheem Sterling for tactical fouling. The evidence grows.

Nuno Espirito Santo (Wolves) – Liam Cunningham

The beard. That’s what you need to get right with Nuno – and Liam ‘Ser Davos’ Cunningham boasts salt-and-pepper bristles, receding pate and a steely stare. Ideal, even if Cunningham’s native Dublin is some distance from Nuno’s Sao Tome and Principe origins.

Still, Cunningham is the right man for this impassioned touchline gesticulator. Not least because, in scenes where his team play badly, this Onion Knight has plenty of experience with dire Wolves. And with that, we’ll get our coats and head off beyond the wall.

Pictures: In numbers, the value of the Premier League

Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?
Who would play every Premier League manager if they were cast in a Hollywood film?

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Disney, boy band star Ricky Garcia alleges manager raped him.
Former Disney Channel actor Ricky Garcia has come forward with allegations of sexual abuse against manager Joby Harte.

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