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Sport Heartbreaking question Dell never asked mum

05:50  17 february  2020
05:50  17 february  2020 Source:   wwos.nine.com.au

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As you may know Chester had a large family and had sons and daughters. One of his daughters Lily asked her mum yesterday a heartbreaking question and

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a close up of Wendell Sailor wearing glasses and looking at the camera: Wendell Sailor.© Getty Wendell Sailor. Wendell Sailor has revealed his pain at an enormous question never asked of his mother: why she gave him up for adoption at just two days old.

Sailor's birth mother, Penny, died last year. The former NRL and rugby star made the revelation on Triple M's Dead Set Legends program, speaking with Gus Worland.

"You want to know why but ... I haven't been brave enough to ask the questions. I never got to ask my mum, my birth mum, why she gave me up," Sailor said.

"What hurts me now, I found out six months ago that she passed away, of a heart attack and she had cancer. No one sort of told me, because I didn't really reach out to her and I think she just didn't want to sort of put that on me.

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"That was hard. No one really knows this, but that's sort of stuff that I've dealt with in the last six months and it's been tough, because I know my kids can see that hurt in me.

"Sometimes I just wish I would have asked why she gave me up for adoption - that's the hard one.

"I'm sure she's got a great explanation ... it's one of those things that I'm never going to know now. And I've never met my real birth dad. There's a little bit of some hollow things in my life."

a group of people posing for the camera: Wendell Sailor with son and rising Dragons star Tristan.© Getty Wendell Sailor with son and rising Dragons star Tristan. 'Big Dell' was adopted by his biological mother's neighbours, Daniel and Alison Sailor, after being born in Royal Brisbane Hospital in 1974. He met Penny a few times when he was young; she was introduced as an 'aunty'.

Alison told him at around age 12 that he was adopted.

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"It was a tough one, because I just thought that was my mum and dad the whole way," Sailor said.

"And then I got to meet my birth mum when I was 15, 16. I met her two or three times. I didn't really have a really good relationship with her, because once I heard what she had gone through to get there I didn't really feel sorry for her or [have any] empathy.

"The older I got the more angry I got, because I didn't really ask her all the questions. She had six kids to four different guys and for me, I was second or third child and it's about breaking that cycle, I suppose. For me, there was a bit of resentment there.

"I went to a beautiful home and I think the parents that I had, they did a really good job; or the best job that they could do with me. I had everything I wanted as a kid; went to school, wasn't really a naughty boy, didn't drink, didn't do anything really bad when I was young. Sport was my vehicle. I just loved being with my mates and playing sport.

"It was tough, because I never actually dealt with it [being adopted out]. For me and my mental health, that's something I always go back to - abandonment.

"Sometimes the showman and the lairiness (sic), the bravado, it masks probably the pain beneath sometimes."

Sailor's adoptive father died in 2001. The winger was a Queensland and Australian team mainstay by then and buried his first Maroons Origin jersey with Daniel.

Sailor, a Broncos and Dragons star as well as a 37-cap Wallaby in rugby union, announced in 2013 that he was an adopted child. He is now a proud dad of three, including to exciting Dragons prospect Tristan Sailor.

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