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Food & Drink New At Trader Joe’s In March: Tteokbokki! Not-Funyuns! Croissant Croutons!

03:01  01 april  2022
03:01  01 april  2022 Source:   bonappetit.com

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On a warm March evening at Trader Joe’s in Ann Arbor, MI, a group of college bros was having trouble making up their minds about what chips to buy (come on guys, get the corn dippers) and one of them was eating an entire ball of mozzarella while he shopped.

I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. Is this a new protein craze? Did he pay for it? Was he high?

But you didn’t come here for idle gossip. You came to find out which new Trader Joe’s products are worth your time and hard-earned money! Lentil-based Funyun dupes? Oat milk ice cream sandwiches? New frozen bags of tteokbokki?! Lots to discuss.

Oat Milk Adventures

  New At Trader Joe’s In March: Tteokbokki! Not-Funyuns! Croissant Croutons! © Bon Appétit

Oat Chocolate Bars

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You can’t tell from the pic, but these come in a pocket-sized box that’s soooo cute. Each bar is the size of an iPod Nano 2nd Generation. If you’re a vegan who misses milk chocolate, this’ll do it for you. Mild-to-non-existent chocolate flavor.

  New At Trader Joe’s In March: Tteokbokki! Not-Funyuns! Croissant Croutons! © Bon Appétit

Oat Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert Sandwiches

The soft chocolate wafer sticks to your fingertips—business as usual—and the oat milk-based ice cream softens and squishes out so you can lick around the perimeter, which is the proper way to eat an ice cream sandwich if you want to avoid brain freeze and looking sane. HOWEVER, the vanilla flavor is more like birthday cake, as artificially festive as my RSVP to your e-invite. I didn’t love these.

In the Freezer

  New At Trader Joe’s In March: Tteokbokki! Not-Funyuns! Croissant Croutons! © Bon Appétit

Tteok Bok Ki

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The rice cakes came out perfectly bouncy, but the sauce was missing something for me. That something: the richness, and layers of umami, you get making it at home. But that’s why frozen food exists. It’s still a satisfying, easy-to-make fix for a tteokbokki craving. Make sure to slice fresh scallions to sprinkle on top.

A Single Cheese

  New At Trader Joe’s In March: Tteokbokki! Not-Funyuns! Croissant Croutons! © Bon Appétit

Jasper Hill Vault No 5 Cave Aged Cheese

A GREAT find. Creamy flavor, but with that aged cheddar edge. A new favorite cheese at Trader Joe’s. Watch out, English Coastal Cheddar.

Carb Innovations

  New At Trader Joe’s In March: Tteokbokki! Not-Funyuns! Croissant Croutons! © Bon Appétit

Rosemary Croissant Croutons

A genius idea, these are flaky croutons made of croissants. (I’d like to think they’re using stale ones or excess dough and it’s a food waste thing?). They’re a little overkill on the rosemary flavor, but that would be nice in tomato soup. The croutons crumble into dust when you bite into them—what I imagine it’s like when giants eat tiny human children who’ve trespassed up their beanstalks. Yum!

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  New At Trader Joe’s In March: Tteokbokki! Not-Funyuns! Croissant Croutons! © Bon Appétit

Sour Cream & Onion Flavored Rings

A Funyun made with lentils that have been processed into salty rings that are too big to be fake rings, too small to be bangles. If ya can’t wear ‘em, eat ‘em. The dense, crunchy ring is coated with an intense onion flavor that gives me sewage breath. I liked the first bite but they didn’t keep me coming back for more.

  New At Trader Joe’s In March: Tteokbokki! Not-Funyuns! Croissant Croutons! © Bon Appétit

Egg Wraps

Frilly-edged and spongy, these gluten-free crepe-like wraps are super weird. (And I think, marketed to the Keto crowd?) I tried to use one as a breakfast burrito, filled with more eggs, beans, and cheese, but it flopped apart and I ended up eating the mess with a fork. These won’t be replacing the Homemade Flour Tortillas in MY household.

Other Sweets

  New At Trader Joe’s In March: Tteokbokki! Not-Funyuns! Croissant Croutons! © Bon Appétit

Crispy Crunchy Peanut Butter Cookies

This is what I always imagined the taste and texture of Milk-Bone treats were like to my childhood beagle, Poochie. Pass!

  New At Trader Joe’s In March: Tteokbokki! Not-Funyuns! Croissant Croutons! © Bon Appétit

Mini Banana Bread Biscotti

If you like Trader Joe’s dried banana chips or Laffy Taffy banana candy, you’ll love these, ya freak. Hard spears of dried-to-death biscotti with chewy banana moments. They make me pause and think about things, like, I wonder what snacks they’ll serve at my funeral? Hope it’s not these.

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  New At Trader Joe’s In March: Tteokbokki! Not-Funyuns! Croissant Croutons! © Bon Appétit

Black Tea and Boba Coconut Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert

Like the coffee version (which, love), the lil’ boba aren’t quite as bouncy as they are in tea because they’ve been frozen into a suspended universe of ice cream. So you trade that for the novelty. I like this milk tea flavor, with swirls of bold brown sugar, even better than the coffee one.

  New At Trader Joe’s In March: Tteokbokki! Not-Funyuns! Croissant Croutons! © Bon Appétit

Tamarind Sauce

A sweet and somewhat runny sauce with a nutmeg fragrance, sweetened with orange juice. Use it as a glaze on ribs, chicken thighs, or this whole fish that I’ll never forget Andy Baraghani testing all those years ago. I think I licked the platter. It’s not spicy, so you may want to doctor it up with some red chile flakes or a chopped serrano if you need heat.

  New At Trader Joe’s In March: Tteokbokki! Not-Funyuns! Croissant Croutons! © Bon Appétit

Cinna Dragons

What crime against humanity did I commit to deserve this? These taste like if you were chewing Big Red gum and an ogre jumped out of the bushes and terrified you into swallowing the gum. Yuck.

  New At Trader Joe’s In March: Tteokbokki! Not-Funyuns! Croissant Croutons! © Bon Appétit

Low-Calorie Lemonade

To slash the calories on innocent ol’ lemonade, they’ve done a cocktail that’s part sugar, part Stevia, part water, part my mom squishing my muffin top after my first semester of college asking, “a Quiznos on campus, huh?” The hint of Stevia here haunts me with its metallic, super sweet aftertaste. I wish they’d just done “half sugar lemonade” and kept it simpler and sour-er.

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