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relationships A Couple Sent Me A Picture Of Themselves In Bed. Was I Really Going To Do This?

03:45  03 may  2018
03:45  03 may  2018 Source:   chatelaine.com

Budget cuts, weak govt oversight caused rise in Canada airline accidents

  Budget cuts, weak govt oversight caused rise in Canada airline accidents A pilot group responsible for aviation safety inspections said on Tuesday that budget cuts had weakened government oversight and triggered a spike in airline accidents and near misses in 2017, after years of improving flight safety. According to preliminary figures from the Transportation Safety Board (TSB), the number of aircraft accidents rose to 239 last year, up from 230 in 2016.Commercial aviation had a particularly dangerous year, with 94 accidents reported, compared with 63 the previous year.

Was I Really Going To Do This ? Couples it was , then. I took a deep breath and typed, “Hello from your hungover unicorn.” They sent me a picture of themselves , in bed .

A Couple Sent Me A Picture Of Themselves In Bed . Was I Really Going To Do This ? Part II: Online dating as a poly has taught me about ‘unicorns,’ the value of communication, and what I really want in life.

A series of lipstick kisses to illustrate a column about poly relationships.© Used with permission of / © Rogers Media Inc. 2018. A series of lipstick kisses to illustrate a column about poly relationships.

A decade ago, when my peers started flocking to dating sites like OKCupid and Plenty of Fish, I balked. If I couldn’t meet someone in real life, I thought, then why would I want to meet them in the insanity of the internet?

This aversion to online dating remained intact for a long time — through my serial monogamy years, when I was mostly dating men I met through the comedy community (hanging in the bar after shows has become a monument to “The Men I Have Touched”). But that changed when I decided to embrace nonmonogamy.

Couple Shipwrecked Overnight Rescued After Writing 'HELP' in the Sand

  Couple Shipwrecked Overnight Rescued After Writing 'HELP' in the Sand They said 17-foot high waves washed them overboard.The couple from Clairview in Queensland, Australia, had spent a night camped on a remote island aptly named Avoid Island before rescue teams saw their make-shift call for help and airlifted them to safety.

Oh man, she's in bed and the only pic I have will dox me . Tomorrow, I swear. In this picture though the smile was genuine, it wasn't photogenic or really nice but it was real for once I didn't hate how I I think OP meant the people who have a selfie or a picture of only themselves as a wallpaper.

Send to Editors. Promote. Share to Kinja. Toggle Conversation tools. Go to permalink. But there's what people think others ought to do , and what they do themselves . It's just you and me this weekend, and please, I really want you to let it all hang out, ok?

Turns out, it’s really hard to meet other monogamy-averse people IRL, without it being some kind of odd meetup tucked away in a dark Manhattan bar full of weirdos, like the Cantina scene from Star Wars but sadder and with nary a Han Solo to be found (more on this in a second). One of the first things I learned: When you meet people online, the path from “hello” to n00ds is sometimes shorter than you’d think. (Pro-tip: the timer on your iPhone is your friend, as is good lighting.)

There are some times when light-speed is the right speed; you know going in what the other person is after and how comfortable they are asking for it. But obviously, this kind of sex-forward dating isn’t for everyone, and it took me a while to be comfortable with it. When my last monogamous relationship was ending, and we were in the bitter, knock-down, drag-out fight part of it, my now-ex memorably said that my interest in non-monogamy was just about “f—ing a bunch of dudes.” It stung, mostly because he wasn’t hearing me. It also stung because it was obvious he was trying to slut shame me. I wanted more from him. At the time, I replied “No, that’s not what I want,” in a wounded, quiet way. Now I can say with absolute certainty: It was, in part, what I wanted. And good for me.

Couple Shipwrecked Overnight Rescued After Writing 'HELP' in the Sand

  Couple Shipwrecked Overnight Rescued After Writing 'HELP' in the Sand Couple Shipwrecked Overnight Rescued After Writing 'HELP' in the SandThe couple from Clairview in Queensland, Australia, had spent a night camped on a remote island aptly named Avoid Island before rescue teams saw their make-shift call for help and airlifted them to safety.

They're a gorgeous couple , married for years. Both of them appear squarely outside my league. She wants to go shopping and fuck, too. But much of the time, dates start or end without her there. I want to do this , to you. And he and my body reward me for it.

Tai Altman knew for years that, if the time came, his parents planned to kill themselves together. Joanna Moorhead hears the story of a devoted couple "Dad was in his chair, Mum was sitting on the end of the bed . I said: ' I love you. Goodbye.' Then I went out of the room, down the stairs and left."

But it’s not all I want. I also want what is called, in non-monogamy circles, a Primary Partner. A main squeeze to whom I can turn but who is also open, seeing other people, and sometimes wants to see other people with me. Some primaries get married; some people have multiple primaries; and some non-monogamous people never have a primary at all. My ideal primary would be someone who is experienced in non-monogamy and suited to me, so I might be waiting a while. But in the meantime, the seeking process is fun as hell, and educational. There is a spectrum of experience that non-monogamous people bring to the table that monogamous people do not, at least for me. Every date, I was learning something new about the community, about the infinite possibilities of this new life I was leading, and about me in the center of it all.

Last summer was the real, true start. The streets of NYC were hot, sticky and filthy with hot men. I wanted them. All. And I was determined to throw myself into ethical sluttery. I was reading the book. I was feeling good. A pal recommended I go to Poly Cocktails, a monthly drinks event that brings together polyamorous (barf, that word will always make me giggle-barf) people. It’s the kind of place, in theory, where you could meet someone with a wedding ring on who is also available to date. Amazing, I thought.

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I think women from some cultures also consider posting photos of themselves to be vain or immodest. She was so beautiful that it would make you weep. (Credits for this line go to Viola Yee ). I know a couple of female friends who do not use their pictures . To list a few reasons: - They

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I had a bad time. My aversion to the word “polyamory” in general grew by two fold when I walked in and saw a very old, gross man, who literally licked his lips in my direction when I entered; a man I had had an unsatisfying one night stand with years earlier (Why? There are 8 million people in New York City. Why?); and literally no one else, despite me leaving a buffer of an hour after the prescribed start time. Apparently, Poly Cocktails can be really fun, so I don’t mean to slight it. But when you’re a “Baby Poly” as I was, that Twin Peaks-ian scene was enough to drive me away, and fast. So, I went to my favourite dive bar, put PJ Harvey’s “50 Ft Queenie” on the jukebox, and downloaded an app called Feeld, said to be a prime place to find non-monogamous people and fun encounters. I created my profile and opened myself to couples. I paused for a moment, and decided to add “men” as well. Then I stated I was non-monogamous, a “lusty nerd” and that I was body positive and into spankings (hi mom!). After 16 years, I had joined a dating site, opiate of the masses, as a way to subvert the masses. Huh.

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  Julianne Hough Has a Genius Packing Tip for Your Next Trip Julianne Hough and her husband, Brooks Laich, are planning their one-year anniversary trip. There not only deciding where to go, but also what to do and how their friends and family will get there. Luckily, the dancer, singer and actress and her hockey player husband have the same travel intentions.

It is not worth cleaning the windows today because it’s going to rain. 19.The two boys were sitting by themselves in the classroom. You wouldn’t be tired if you had gone to bed earlier last night. 93.The number of tourists visiting this area rose last year.

‘He asked me to send one back a few times. After a couple of weeks, I gave in because I didn’t want him It seems really superficial now. I ’d want to get to know a girl properly before asking for pictures like these .’ A boy might send a message like: “ Send me a picture and I might go out with you.”

I drank 3 more glasses of wine, and somewhere in there I started receiving messages. I woke up the next morning with my phone under my pillow, and 83 messages from men (mostly) and a few couples. This is not a brag, because it made me feel bad, like a machine to be queued up to, not a person to meet. And yet, there they were: The Non-Monogamouses (Non-Monogamice? Trying stuff here). One couple in particular caught my eye. I went to message them and discovered I already had.

“Are you a unicorn?” they had asked me, while I was deep in my cups.

“F— yeah,” I’d said, with the drunken confidence of an alter-ego of mine I call “Gord” (he’s a Canadian divorced dad, and my American friends love him). I opened my internet to find I’d already searched “unicorn” and “sex unicorn” (also “burrito recipes”). And I learned then that a unicorn was, in fact, what I was (or wanted to be): a fun third to a couple, a rare beast who could delight them with sparkles and then leave them to their own devices. I laughed. Was I … going to do this? I was nervous, excited, then scared. Maybe I should stick with men alone, I suddenly thought. I read a handful of the messages I had received from dudes:

“Hey.”

“Sup beautiful?”

“Yo.”

And then: D--k pic. D--k pic. Toilet d--k pic (the worst kind). In all, I received 17 unsolicited d--k pics without so much as a “Hello,” nevermind a “Good evening, madam, would you like to gaze upon my d--k?”

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The son then goes on to send his father a snap of his own member, before adding: “See, I don’t think I really got all of your d*** genes.” The son then delivers the perfect final blow, adding: “Well now you know how I felt when my f* dad sent me a d*** pic .

Some folks have the idea that what it means to be good in bed is to only go with what a partner wants, to only focus on their body and their pleasure, taking their own wants, needs and real responses out of the picture .

Couples it was, then. I took a deep breath and typed, “Hello from your hungover unicorn.” They sent me a picture of themselves, in bed. Not nude, but intimating it. They were snuggled up together, in love, in bed. And I thought “how fun, to be there too.” Within two weeks, I was. And to my surprise, it built up like any other early relationship: Fun, flirting, chatting. Meeting for drinks, kissing. But everything was multiplied by two people. Which was thrilling. Big. 50 Ft Queen-like.

I started referring to these two as The Magical Couple. They were odd, and lovely, and not average in any way. We talked. We watched movies, made jokes. We had sex, and while I was nervous about that, too, it went well because we liked each other and had talked about it a lot.

I started to figure out something about non-monogamy, something I still deeply appreciate: Communication. Everyone talks about what they want, up front, from the start, be it sex, dating, flirting, casual meetups. We’ve been trained as a culture to think that talking about it sucks the mystery and magic out of sex and dating, and maybe for some people it does. Not for me.

One couple became two.

Then I found a few fun, casual partners. There were, of course, some misfires.

One gentleman, lovely and sweet, wanted to tie me up with ropes in a Japanese bondage art form called Shibari, and I wanted that too, but when we met there was no spark there, for me. He was married, openly, and had a girlfriend. He wanted me to be another girlfriend, which sounded very fun in theory. I should have told The Roper after we met that I just wasn’t that into him — but he was so kind, so committed, and had opened himself up so completely and honestly that I was filled with an enormous guilt. I froze and ghosted him instead. I’m sorry, Roper.

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I am going to send you a birthday gift with this letter. I am going to bed with a happy and tranquil mind. She did not go out into society; everyone knew that her Those who were able to get away were going of their own accord, those who remained behind decided for themselves what they must do .

ORAL. At this point I really started to realize how much of a narcissist I am . "Top 3" is great. Rating: 71 percent would go there again. So, what did I learn from this experience? I learned that I am apparently great at going down on people but absolutely horrible at trying to seduce them.

Another “couple” turned out to be just a guy who found more success meeting women by pretending he was still with his ex, a fact he confessed to me when I asked questions about her. I ghosted him, too. I’m not sorry, Faker.

One day, I sent a naughty text to Couple #2, who lived upstate. We hadn’t met in person yet, but had exchanged many nudes and videos. The text, however, was meant for Couple #1. I confessed my error, but Couple #2 got very mad at me, perhaps too mad, the kind of mad that means something else is happening — something between them. We stopped speaking after that. I felt sad, like any breakup, about this. I felt, for awhile, twice as sad. Sad for each of them. Then I met another couple and got excited all over again, but we didn’t vibe when we met in person. They dumped me.

After several months of this, I got tired. I had been pushing myself to get out there, with such a force of will, that I had forgotten that everyone needs alone time. I was also a noob, and I had screwed up a fair amount. So I paused, to re-assess. And I realized that if this was actually going to work, I needed to accept that every feeling was going to be bigger now. I was going to feel things twice as much, twice as hard. I was going to get TOLD how people felt about me, because the non-monogamous lifestyle, at its best, demands radical honesty. And I realized that I was going to spend the rest of my life being super engaged with my relationships. I was used to coasting in monogamy, but I couldn’t anymore.

My dating life, like my professional life (freelance, comedian, TV writer), was going to be hard, require attention. But it could be fun, too, I thought. Then the Magical Couple ghosted me.

I got low for a full week, wrestled with my doubt and shame. What the hell was I doing? Why couldn’t I be normal and just want what other people wanted? Maybe I should just settle down and shut up. That’s when I, a (lusty) nerd, made a checklist, something I should have done before I downloaded any apps, before I stumbled crotch-first into all of this. I made a Pro/Con list for non-monogamy.

Pro side: Freedom. Choice. Self-determination. The ability to meet and date new people whenever I wanted, even while in a relationship, as long as I talked to my partner about it. The ability to not do that, if I didn’t want to. The ability to explore my sexuality. Adventure. Excitement. Adrenaline. Fun. Subversion of boredom and sameness.

Con side: Hard, at times. Lonely, at times. Exhausting, at times. Not a societal norm.

I sat on the list for days, genuinely trying to add to the cons. I couldn’t. Simultaneously, it occurred to me that I was learning a whole new way to live and that it wouldn’t happen overnight. I remembered to be kind to myself. I remembered to slow down. And all of those cons (aside from the last), are just as likely to happen in monogamy, for me. So I determined to not give up just yet. I reopened the app, and I met a few new someones. One of them, who I call the SexBrit, became a regular. And the magical couple reappeared, too.

And in between all of it, I found something else: A cool lady called Me. In my adult life I had bounced from relationship to relationship because I thought I had to have a someone. Now I am seeking that primary person, but I am also happy to be single. I am, my friends, mingling all over the place. And the pros far outweigh the cons.

Kaitlin Fontana is a non-monogamous writer, director, and producer and an award-winning essayist from Fernie, B.C., who now lives in Brooklyn. Read the first column in this series here.

Look! Even celebrity home births are total chaos .
Being a celebrity means your life is never messy, right?Don’t believe us? Check out this picture that Dawson’s Creek actor James Van Der Beek posted on Instagram, showing the state of their home after his wife Kimberly gave birth to their daughter, Gwendolyn. It shows that even the houses of celebrities—who we assume have a posse around them at all times waiting on them hand and foot (that’s how wealth and fame works, right?)—turn into a beautiful mess when it comes time to welcome a new baby.

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