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CanadaEmma Teitel: Ontario should face the truth: there is no such thing as Spring here

18:00  03 may  2019
18:00  03 may  2019 Source:   thestar.com

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Spring has sprung ? Have you ventured outside lately? Have you put your winter coat away? Let’s be honest, there are but three seasons in Ontario , writ Who knows, maybe their happy spirits will bring it forth. It’ll probably snow. Emma Teitel is a columnist based in Toronto covering current affairs.

But one thing that never changes is his genius, and his sense of humor. This means, that every four years or so, when the actors playing the Doctor decide to move on to different projects and leave the show, the producers can find a new actor to take on the iconic role.

Emma Teitel: Ontario should face the truth: there is no such thing as Spring here© Richard Lautens Cold and colourful: The city is grey, wet and miserable. A woman walks along Queen St. E. past a storefront.

Editor’s note: The opinions in this article are the author’s, as published by our content partner, and do not necessarily represent the views of MSN or Microsoft.

On an HBO television show you may have heard of, characters living in the imaginary kingdom of Winterfell are very fond of announcing to anyone who will listen that “winter is coming.”

In the city of Toronto (think Winterfell, but more expensive) residents are also fond of talking about the weather.

But unlike the characters on Game of Thrones, they’re bad at predicting it.

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But these categories always overlap. I wrote ‘ there is no such thing as documentary’ because it’s illusory to take the real and reality for granted and to think Even as we criticize, we should take into consideration the circumstances that lead someone to assume a black-and-white oppositional identity

Note that in phrases like an iron (silver) spoon, the adjective is just a grammatical attribute to noun, not an epithet, as no figurative meaning is implied; on the other hand, in a man of iron will the adjective is already an epithet, as this is an expressive description, based on covert comparison (metaphor).

After all, winter does come to Winterfell — in a big way.

Spring, however, has not come to Toronto.

And yet, if you take a walk downtown you will see sandwich boards outside restaurants and cafés (a few overturned by wind) announcing some variation of “spring has sprung,” when it so clearly has not. Or worse, signs promoting the false hope that spring weather is “coming soon.”

But spring weather is not coming soon.

In fact, spring weather, the kind where you can comfortably wear a jean jacket and sweater in the afternoon, is never coming, because spring, itself, in this city, in this province, is a myth.

Climatologists probably disagree with me. Apparently Spring technically “sprung” at the end of March. But scientific semantics are irrelevant when you’re still wearing your winter coat in May — when you haven’t even had the satisfaction of putting it back in the closet, because you need it almost everyday.

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So my latest "little" thing is that I quite strongly believe that I am one of the first witnesses to the technological singularity. I beat it, and there is not the slightest doubt in my mind about it. I thought I would have to ride it, but now I laugh at that stupid horse, because even though I'm a tiny little jockey

The truth was that we were becoming tired (D) _ the empty summer days. “Let’s go over to Miss Lottie’s,” said Joey. The idea caught on at once. There were six of us, all different ages, dressed in only one thing (G) _. The girls wore faded dresses that were too long or too short.

“We’ve changed the month. We’re not necessarily changing the weather,” Dave Phillips, senior climatologist with Environment Canada, told CBC Radio’s Metro Morning on Wednesday, May 1, a great day to stay inside in Ontario.

You may recall that Toronto boasted maximum winds of 65 km/h on Wednesday, a wind speed one website’s weather scale describes thusly: “Twigs and small branches are broken from trees. Walking is difficult.”

You don’t say.

I was very recently nearly blown into oncoming traffic while crossing the street. Had it not been for my disobedient dog, whose atrocious walking pulled me in the total opposite direction, thereby anchoring me to the ground, I’d be writing this column from beyond the stratosphere.

Meanwhile, on a more serious note, freezing rain and snow warnings continue to sweep the province, and major flooding is devastating homeowners in communities such as Windsor, Bracebridge and Muskoka.

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It _is_ they that should honour you. (Trollope) 30. Great Expectations by Dickens was published in I860. 33. There is a number of things , Martin, that you don't understand. (Wilde) 34. The number of scientific research institutes in our country are very large.

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And still, the myth of spring lives on: a season that promises crisp sunny days and the renewal of life, but which brings mostly death — death to patio furniture that foolish Torontonians put out thinking they’d actually have reason to sit on it in the middle of April.

Is there anything more quintessentially spring in this city than empty, rain drenched patios whose capsized chairs are warping in the wind?

The more important question is why do we put the furniture out to begin with?

I’ve been on this earth nearly 30 years, and, although I can recall experiencing individual “spring” days in this province, I cannot recall anything approaching a “season.” (And, no, a few nice days do not make a season.)

It’s for this reason, in the interest of civic sanity, that I believe it’s time the current provincial government (a regime already used to making ill-researched decisions) officially declare what we all know to be true: There are three seasons in Ontario, not four. Summer, Autumn and Winter.

Spring is a fiction, a lie we tell ourselves to pretend that winter is over.

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C. It’s important to try new things . In fact, it’s almost necessary, because we get bored with doing the same thing day in, day out. Luckily we live in a multicultural world. Changes occur in most industries, and travel is no exception. A new trend in temporary accommodation has gained popularity recently.

The truth was that we were becoming tired (D) _ the empty summer days. “Let’s go over to Miss Lottie’s,” said Joey. The idea caught on at once. There were six of us, all different ages, dressed in only one thing (G) _. The girls wore faded dresses that were too long or too short.

If the weather isn’t changing, as Dave Philips says, why should the months change? March and April serve no purpose but to make us wonder why the snow returns. They should be absorbed by February, which will henceforth be the longest month. I know, this sounds rather depressing, but I think it’s better to embrace the bitterness of our winter than to pine for sunshine that will never arrive.

It’s what the Starks would do.

In Winterfell, winter is coming.

In Ontario, winter barely leaves.

Even so, this Saturday, Toronto’s High Park will be “car free,” according to the city’s website, “to address pedestrian safety during the cherry blossom peak bloom” — that is, the avalanche of Instagrammers who descend on the park year after year oblivious to reality and high on the idea of Spring.

Who knows, maybe their happy spirits will bring it forth.

It’ll probably snow.

Emma Teitel is a columnist based in Toronto covering current affairs. Follow her on Twitter: @emmaroseteitel

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