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TechnologyOpinion: When your adult children keep asking for money, here’s what to do

19:06  14 march  2019
19:06  14 march  2019 Source:   marketwatch.com

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Free Preview. For full access, Log in or Subscribe Now and get 4 weeks free! Playing the Tooth Fairy and leaving kids a few bucks under their pillow is a fun family tradition. Fast-forward a few decades and a less joyous ritual can take hold: Those once-cute children now repeatedly ask you for money .

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Opinion: When your adult children keep asking for money, here’s what to do© Courtesy Everett Collection It’s hard to say no, but too many loans can erode your quality of life in old age.

Editor’s note: The opinions in this article are the author’s, as published by our content partner, and do not necessarily represent the views of MSN.ca or Microsoft.

Playing the Tooth Fairy and leaving kids a few bucks under their pillow is a fun family tradition. Fast-forward a few decades and a less joyous ritual can take hold: Those once-cute children now repeatedly ask you for money.

Loving parents often struggle to say no. Toss in a dollop of guilt and it’s almost impossible to turn away from an adult child’s plea for cash.

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Here ’ s the truth: a child who is never made to be accountable will never learn from his mistakes. We ask that you refrain from discussing topics of a political or religious nature. Denise Rowden is a parent of two adult children and has been a parenting coach since 2011.

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“I’m a parent,” said Adam Bergman, president of IRA Financial Group in Miami Beach. “I’m not sure I’d be able to say no. It becomes, “OK, how can I help?’”

He warns parents under age 59 ½ to consider the source of funding before agreeing to a cash giveaway. As a former tax attorney, Bergman places a high value on maintaining tax-deferred savings into your golden years.

Those under 59 ½ should look at other sources such as a pension loan, a home-equity loan and other nonqualified saving accounts, he said.

Rather than just hand over money, a hard-nosed parent can double as banker and negotiate terms for a loan. An act of love thus morphs into a long-term financial transaction.

Bergman recalls a neighbor in his 50s who sought advice when his son wanted $10,000 for his wife’s in vitro fertilization treatment. The neighbor intended to draw down a pension from a former employer, but Bergman cautioned against that. Instead, the neighbor wound up taking out a loan on his plan and arranged for his son to pay back the money over a five-year period.

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When your adult child comes to you asking for money , where do you begin? She has made no attempt whatsoever to find another one but yet keeps asking us for money left and right. The money she received in redundancy is soon to run out since I’m paying her cell phone bill and insurance every

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“Interest rates were really low and the son has been paying back the loan for three years now,” Bergman said. “And she had a baby.”

If you work with a financial adviser, seek counsel when weighing how to respond to your child’s entreaty. Financial planners will probably take the amount of money in question and calculate to what extent its absence in your portfolio might upend your retirement goals.

“The client may need to lower their expectations for retirement or continue to work longer than planned,” said Colin Overweg, a certified financial planner in Grand Rapids, Mich. “If you want to help your kid, it needs to be a conscious decision. My job is to show the cost-benefit analysis.”

Even if the costs outweigh the benefits—and clients will dig themselves into a deep hole that endangers their future lifestyle—many parents refuse to say no to their child. Advisers must tread lightly.

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A guide on what you can do when your adult child asks you for money . There are many different circumstances an adult child may ask for money . This article breaks down a course of action depending on whether the need for money is temporary or permanent.

Many adult children struggle with their parents, or with money issues, etc., but not all of them cut ties with their parents. Why do some cut off while others go through similar When a parent and child are too emotionally bound up with each other, they are more susceptible to cutting off when anxiety is high.

“You can’t just say, ‘Don’t give your kids anything,’” said Ron Strobel, a certified financial planner in Nampa, Idaho. “You can’t seem like you’re biased against the kids.”

Instead, Strobel will illustrate how the missing money will disrupt a client’s carefully crafted retirement plan. Resisting judgment, he prefers to let stark numbers and grim projections do the talking.

“You have to be impartial, follow the facts and help the client visualize what could happen,” he said. “Rather than say, ‘Doing this will destroy your plan’ I’ll show them a chart of how it’ll affect their assets and ask, ‘What do you think?’”

He adds that those advisers who charge an investment management fee (such as 1% of assets under management) can face a conflict of interest if they urge clients to deny a child’s appeal for money, even if it’s a reasonable request for, say, a down payment on a house. After all, the more money the client retains, the more the adviser earns.

“It can be a gray area in terms of what’s in the client’s best interest,” Strobel said.

Perhaps the most worrisome sign is when the pattern repeats itself. An adviser can adjust a client’s financial plan to accommodate a one-time gift to a child. But if it becomes a habit, all bets are off.

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When your adult child is living in the house with you, you may feel infringed upon while he feels like Work to get along and don’t keep assigning blame. Instead, take responsibility for your behavior and If your adult child lives at home with you and you’re feeling overwhelmed or out of control, I think you

Here ' s a guide to figuring out when to stop and how to break the routine. Aging adults say giving money to grown children is one of the top financial habits they’d be willing to change in order to get their retirement on firmer You may also like: What to Do When Your Adult Kids Keep Fighting.

Ian Bloom, a certified financial planner in Raleigh, N.C., recalls a client in his 60s who retired with ample funds. But he kept returning to Bloom because his son needed cash infusions to rescue his business.

“The first time, we had the client sign a form acknowledging he was acting against our advice,” Bloom said. But after continued withdrawals, his portfolio shrunk to the point where it ruined his retirement.

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help your children,” Bloom said. “But there’s always a line. Our job is to try to make sure the client doesn’t cross it.”

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Adult children are costing parents their retirements.
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