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Family & RelationshipsShould You Tell Your Kids You're in Marriage Counseling? A Licensed Psychologist Weighs In

18:10  15 august  2019
18:10  15 august  2019 Source:   popsugar.com

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A Licensed Psychologist Weighs In . August 14, 2019 by Alessia Santoro. No marriage is perfect, and every couple will bicker and have some sort of issue at some point. So should you keep your kids in the dark to protect them or let your kids know what's going on?

A Licenced Psychologist Weighs In . How You Should Approach Your Kids About Marital Issues, If Applicable. No marriage is perfect, and every "What I have learned over the years of working with kids is that they are really astute, even at young ages," she told POPSUGAR, adding that kids with

Should You Tell Your Kids You're in Marriage Counseling? A Licensed Psychologist Weighs In © Unsplash Should You Tell Your Kids You're in Marriage Counseling? A Licensed Psychologist Weighs In

It's normal for the nature of every marriage to ebb and flow - sometimes things are great, and sometimes, not so much. Although some couples (like Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard!) suggest marriage counselling or couples' therapy no matter your marriage's status, typically, couples choose to entertain the idea of counselling because of recurring issues and pain points. No matter the reason you've chosen to dive into marriage counselling, the next decision that may weigh on you is whether or not to clue in your kids - young or old.

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No marriage is perfect, especially once you add kids into the mix - but how much should your children know about How You Should Approach Your Kids About Your Marital Issues. Whether you ' re in marriage counseling and on the way to making positive changes or are completely ready to call it

A Licensed Psychologist Weighs in on How Much Your Kids Should Know About Your Marital Issues. We asked Dr. Deborah Roth Ledley, a licensed psychologist and author of The Worry Workbook For Kids , to weigh in . How You Should Approach Your Kids About Your Marital Issues.

We asked Dr. Deborah Roth Ledley, a licensed psychologist and author of The Worry Workbook For Kids, to share her thoughts on when and how much you should say to your little ones - especially preschool/elementary-age kids and those kiddos who experience anxiety - about your regular counselling sessions.

Should You Tell Your Kids You're in Marriage Counseling? A Licensed Psychologist Weighs In © Getty Getty How You Should Approach Your Kids About Marital Issues, If Applicable

No marriage is perfect, and every couple will bicker and have some sort of issue at some point. So should you keep your kids in the dark to protect them or let your kids know what's going on? Dr. Ledley said that whether you mean for them to be in the know about your issues or not, your kids probably already have a feeling that something's going on, which is why she recommends being as upfront with them as possible.

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Marriage counseling has a spotty reputation, it seems. When I first mentioned that my husband If you can't agree on how to raise your kids and fight over everything from iPad time to bedtime A Licensed Psychologist Weighs in on How Much Your Kids Should Know About Your Marital Issues.

"What I have learned over the years of working with kids is that they are really astute, even at young ages," she told POPSUGAR, adding that kids with parents who are going through a tough time are usually aware of it in some way, shape, or form. But in terms of including your kids in the conversation, Dr. Ledley said: "It is easier to protect younger kids than older kids. We also want to think about the duration of our marital difficulties. All couples go through a rough patch from time to time, and I don't think kids need to know about all these normal ups and downs. If problems are prolonged, and likely heading to some changes that are going to impact the family as a whole, kids should be informed."

Should You Tell Your Kids You're in Marriage Counseling? A Licensed Psychologist Weighs In © Getty How to Tell Your Kids You're in Marriage Counselling

Although being transparent with kids is important, it's normal to want to protect them and ensure you're not making them nervous or scared about the future of your marriage, and thus, their family unit. However, going to marriage counselling is an important step for many couples going through a rough patch, and because getting help and trying to make it work are positive things, looping in your child could help assuage their worries a bit, until you're more certain things are going to be OK (or on the flip side, if they aren't).

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A psychologist weighs in . (If you ’ re really worried about this you can always be truthful with your child from the start and engage in pretend play: “Let’s pretend Santa is real and leave some cookies out for him!”)

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"Again, age is important here," she said. "For very young preschoolers and early grade school kids, Mum and Dad can go off to a meeting without it arousing too much suspicion. Older kids are going to be more curious, particularly if parents don't typically spend time together (for example, kids will see right through parents saying they are going on a 'date night' every week if they haven't gone on a date in years) or if one parent is usually always home and one is more likely to go out and do things in the evenings or on weekends. It is OK to say, 'Mum and Dad are going to see a doctor who helps parents who want to learn to get along better.'"

Should You Tell Your Kids You're in Marriage Counseling? A Licensed Psychologist Weighs In © Getty What to Do After Telling Your Kids You're in Counselling but While You're Still Working Through Things

"In an ideal world, kids would grow up with calm, loving parents who treat each other with respect. However, we all know it is impossible to not squabble in front of our kids from time to time about day-to-day things, and for couples with a great deal of conflict, it can be hard to limit that to behind closed doors," she said.

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Christian Marriage Counseling . Our Licensed Professionals Can Meet With You From Your Phone, Computer, Tablet, Or At Our Offices. Christian Marriage Counseling . Find the help you are looking for, online or in-person. Discovering you ’ re being cheated on may be the most painful experience of your life. Marriage Problems – How to Tell Your Kids .

Telling your kids about your pending divorce may be the most difficult conversation you 'll ever have. But if you ' re concerned that your older child is going to take the news hard or that her reaction will You should expect to have many more conversations with them as the separation and divorce

So if you and your spouse are working through your issues and have chosen to share with your kids that you're in counselling, continue to be transparent with them throughout the experience. Your problems aren't going to go away overnight just because you're seeing a professional, so if you fight in front of your kids, Dr. Ledley recommends having upfront conversations - apologise for fighting in their presence, and let them ask questions so that "we get away from assuming we know what kids hear, how they interpret it, and what they might be worrying about." Rather, you'll know how they feel and hopefully how to help them feel less worried or anxious and can let them know that your issues are in no way their fault and that no matter what, how much you love them is never in question.

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Should You Tell Your Kids You're in Marriage Counseling? A Licensed Psychologist Weighs In

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