Health & Fitness 7 things to know before you start dating a friend

14:46  10 may  2018
14:46  10 may  2018 Source:   cosmopolitan.com

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Here are seven things to keep in mind if you 're two friends thinking of dating each other It doesn't have to be anything too overt right away – we started off with dressing room selfies where we asked each other's opinions on outfits we already knew we looked really good in.

Things can get terrible fast if your partner is waking you up early in the morning, or you 're banging around the kitchen making a late-night snack and disrupting their sleep. 7 Things To Know Before You Start Dating a Friend .

Okay, you're both taking the plunge. Now what?: 7 things to know before you start dating a friend © Freeform 7 things to know before you start dating a friend

The first kiss my boyfriend and I shared as friends-who-now-know-they-like-each-other was nothing short of terrifying. I pulled him into what I thought would be a sweeping, spark-filled smooch and he just stood there, hardly moving. The rest of the date was even more catastrophic. We nervously drank too much and watched Sweet Home Alabama on his bed without looking at each other. I was convinced we had no chemistry and that I ruined a perfectly-great friendship. (Then date two happened and we successfully made out after talking out the awkwardness s*** storm that was our first date and all was well!).

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But it's nice to know that if you did start dating your best friend , they'll just slide right into family gatherings and skip right past the awkward "meet my 4. You 've thought about dating them before , then they thought of dating you , but things never lined up right. There was a time when you were into

He knows that you start imagining he's dead on the side of the road when he doesn't text you back for eight hours so he does his best not to make you think 6. You know how to make each other laugh, so telling him a joke isn't like throwing piles of dust into the wind. When you date strangers, it's so hard to

All to say: I have been there. Sure, friend-to-partner transitions can be magical and simple, but they can also be confusing and anxiety-inducing as all hell if you're someone who doubts themselves a lot. Luckily, there are steps along the way to make this whole process less like the most stressful thing that's ever happened to you. Here are the things to keep in mind if you're two friends thinking of dating each other.

1. Flirt to test the waters

It can be tough to suss out if you have mutual feelings when you're already jokey and sweet to each other. “Flirting is a skilful testing of the waters where you’re protecting yourself from rejection," says Dr. Theresa DiDonato, Associate Professor of Psychology at Loyola University. "It can give you a safe space to see if the other person flirts back.”

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Things that seem mundane to most people are extraordinarily beautiful to sentimental folks. We always complain that life goes to fast, but how often do you spend time to appreciate that a tree can grow (and even thrive) in an urban environment? When’s the last time you took five minutes to pull over and

Before you start dating , you ’ll probably feel very overwhelmed, like you don’t even know where to start . That’s why there are some things you absolutely need to know before you consider getting into a relationship. Don't focus on what you "should" be doing according to society or your friends .

It doesn't have to be anything too overt right away – we started off with fitting room selfies where we asked each other's opinions on outfits we already knew we looked really good in. Eventually, I graduated to borderline-sexts about how his legs looked in shorts, but there were so many baby thirst steps in between. The point is you can take your time with getting more flirty and seeing if A.) they seem to return the flirtiness and B.) they're flirting with just you instead of generally flirting with everyone.

a woman posing for a picture: Sexual confidence | Couple hugging kissing © Getty Images Sexual confidence | Couple hugging kissing

2. Make sure you have the right kind of friendship for a relationship

There's a huge difference between your ride-or-die BFF and someone who's just really fun to party with. “I would consider the quality of your friendship before transitioning to a relationship," says Dr. DiDonato. "Do you feel safe and secure in that friendship, or is it an exciting, emotional ride?”

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And that, my friends , is a lose-lose situation. So he'd better make it worth the risk. 5. You might break his heart And there's not much more that's 9. It'll be awkward with his mum Before , you were the one she bitched to about the wild hussies making banshee noises from her son's bedroom at the weekend.

Your friend group will start noticing little differences in your behaviors in general and towards each other. You didn’t start out as FWB you started out as friends , so you are already comfortable with each other. You know what makes them laugh, what irritates the shit out of them and what they like in

Your friend's robust social life can be hot until they flake on date night over and over again. “Sometimes these dominant traits we love in a person and that drew us in [as friends] becomes the thing we don’t like anymore," adds DiDonato. 

3. Be really honest about why you want to date them

When you've re-downloaded every new dating app only to swear off romance for the rest of your life two hours later, dating a trusted friend can feel like a great option. They're cute, they're nice to you, and you can trust them. But there's so much more to a healthy romantic relationship than just feeling secure.

“There should be some element of sexual attraction or romantic desire," says Dr. DiDonato. "And even if that’s there, there may not be enough for a healthy, stable, romantic partnership.” She also goes on to mention the importance of shared goals and parallel life plans – dating someone who feels "safe" can backfire when you realise they're not as motivated or socially active as you.

Provided by Shutterstock © Shutterstock Provided by Shutterstock

4. Go all in if you're going to do this

Wavering a little is perfectly normal if you both value your friendship and really don't want to mess it up. But consistently worrying about the state of your friendship with every new step you take in your romantic development is just no good.

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Her friends are her everything, which means she's constantly got something going on with at least one of them. But she's not just trying to drag you along — she 8. Her friends will join in on your plans with her. Oh, were you going to get dinner with her after she grabbed an after-work drink with her friends ?

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“A couple who goes through a breakup might then have to negotiate how they’ll share their network of friends, says Dr. DiDonato. "But at the point where they’re a couple, I don’t think it benefits them to keep saying ‘Okay, if we break up, what’s going to happen?’”

Yes, you are taking a risk on your friendship by dating. Yes, depending on if and how you break up, you may not be friends in the end. But if you can't stop focusing on the potential future turmoil, you should rethink moving along. “If you’re both truly interested, there’s more to lose if you don’t try than if you do,” says DiDonato.

5. Don't involve your friends too much in the beginning

Realising you might have mutual feelings for a friend can be something you want help sorting through, but if you're going to talk to someone, consider picking someone who isn't a shared friend. “It's not always be a straight path moving from friendship to a romantic relationship – there might be some back-and-forth," says DiDonato. "Shared friends might be really interested in this thing that’s happening between the both of you, but a romantic relationship is between two people.”

Trust: the last thing you need on top of your nerves is a gaggle of mutual friends eyeing you talking to your friend from across the bar and drunkenly blurting out that you should both just kiss already.

The biggest obstacles people face when dating someone at work

  The biggest obstacles people face when dating someone at work You spend a lot of time at work, so it's likely you'll meet someone there you have a romantic connection with. But things can quickly get complicated, so it's important to be aware of a few difficulties you're likely to face.This could be a genuine romantic connection blossoming, or it could be something called "vicinity attraction," where you start to have feelings for someone simply because you've spent a lot of time together. That's not to say it's a less viable way of starting a relationship, but you might want to take a step back and see if the relationship also works outside the office before you commit to anything.

Look, we know our need for quiet time can be a bummer to everyone for whom life is a constant party. 7. We just want to feel safe. We need to know that we can be our natural introverted selves without worrying about hurting your feelings 7 Things To Know Before You Start Dating a Friend .

The first thing to bear in mind, before you start dating your best friend , is that, once you have crossed that line, it will be very hard to go back again. You will probably have shared things about your exes with your best friend , that you would rather prefer your current boyfriend never knew about.

a young boy looking at the camera: Polyamory open relationship advice | Couple holding hands © Getty Images Polyamory open relationship advice | Couple holding hands

6. Expect that things – including sex – might be really awkward at first

“People bring different sexual expectations to their relationships, so whether you’re expecting magic the first time or you see your sexual relationship as something that can grow and change, that’s going to influence how satisfied you are not just sexually but in the relationship," says Dr. DiDonato. "Two individuals who are willing to work on that factor might have an easier time transitioning into a relationship.”

If your relationship kicks off with a When Harry Met Sally monologue, more power to you. But it's definitely not the standard to hold yourselves to. “If you hold those beliefs, you might take any sort of stumbling as a sign that it’s a problem and this relationship that isn’t worth pursuing, rather than recognising little points of awkwardness and stumbling as something you can work on,” says Dr. DiDonato.

7. Accept that your relationship will get more complicated

Just because you get to regularly bone your cool friend now doesn't mean that that's all your relationship will entail. In many ways, things will get more emotionally complex than your friendship ever was, and that's a good thing. “Both people need to be on-board with creating a new sense of interdependence and commitment," says Dr. DiDonato. "It’s not just friends who have a sexual relationship – it’s a romantic partnership. We depend on and our romantic partners depend on us way more than we do as friends."

Figuring out how to deal with jealousy, or meshing your schedules together, or helping each other through bigger life problems you never knew about before are all a part of it. It's not as simple as grabbing a random coffee like you used to. But it's so much better.

Related: Why Some Men Regret Getting Married (Provided by Wochit News)

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The beauty of seeking a potential partner by using the Internet is you can explore the possibilities at your own pace. You would only end up arranging a face-to-face date once you had built up a sufficient rapport with the person at the other end of your message exchanges. This would eliminate time wasters, a highly desirable factor given how precious your own free time actually is. So if this is an area of social interaction you have never considered before, here's why it could well be the answer to all your prayers.

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