Family & Relationships Furious mother reveals a bride is demanding 'nice' gifts - despite wedding guests being forced to pay $1,300 to attend the big day abroad
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A furious wedding guest has slammed a bride for demanding 'nice' presents - despite getting married abroad in an exotic location.
'Brownieb' took to the British parenting website to ask other parents for advice on whether she should buy a gift, revealing she will already have to fork out £1,000 (approx. $1,300) for flights and accommodation for the two-week extravaganza.
Explaining the wedding means her family will not be able to afford to go away again that year, the angry mother admitted she felt 'forced' to attend as it was a family event.
And users quickly sympathized with the woman, with the majority arguing her presence alone should be enough of a gift.
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Explaining that she only has three months left until she marries in November, the woman took to Mumsnet to admit she was worried her pal's focus would no longer be on her role as a bridesmaid. Delving deeper into the issue, the mum then explained she felt as though her friend always 'swoops in' on everything she does, before questioning how genuine her recent engagement was.
Explaining her dilemma on the site, she wrote: 'We are going to a wedding abroad next year and it has been hinted we are expected to buy a "nice" wedding present - I feel that we shouldn't have to.
'Mainly I think this because the couple have chosen to go abroad, they have chosen a very expensive time of the year, we have a young child and the destination will be too hot for them to go outside in the day for any length of time.'
She added: 'We don't want to go to this country for our holiday anyway because it's just somewhere you lay by the pool.
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'Now we can't afford a holiday of our own because this wedding will cost over £1000 just for flights and accommodation, that's after find our own cheaper option. We have no annual leave left after this (two week!) wedding either.'
The mother concluded: 'The couple haven't paid for anything for their own wedding and then got angry we didn't want to pay to stay on their resort as they wanted the 'free gifts' available if you get enough guests.'
And angry users quickly expressed their sympathy for the mother, with many arguing that she shouldn't attend the wedding at all.
One wrote: 'I'd say that attending is is lieu of a wedding present as you've gone above and beyond to attend anyway (presumably they know what you've told us?). You've already upset them, so a bit more upset won't hurt.'
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Speaking on This Morning, Sanda Igwe told how two of her ceremonies were held in Nigeria (bottom right), at a cost of around £2,500 to each guest - one of whom had to take out a loan in order to attend. For her third big day she had an exotic beach wedding, but for the fourth it was a simple registry office ceremony in Coventry (bottom left and right). Her last wedding was at London's Grovesnor House (left and right) where she had 13Sandra Igwe, who married the same man five times, spent £70,000 in total on her wedding celebrations.
Another suggested giving them a card, while some even argued that she should not attend and buy her a generous gift instead.
'I honestly wouldn't go,' one wrote. 'I'd buy them a very 'nice' present, and set it against the cost of the ridiculous holiday summons. They can hardly complain about you not going to the wedding if you've given them a generous gift.'
Another agreed, writing: 'Don't go to the wedding. If the couple are angry that you're not staying at the same resort, rather than pleased you're going at all, it makes me wonder whether invitations were sent out to bump up their numbers.
'You received an invitation to attend a wedding, not a subpoena.'
Suggesting she use the money for her own family holiday, another said: 'Don't go. If you're getting judged for all the added extras you aren't participating in, then they may as well dislike you for not attending at all. Save yourself a grand and go do something nice that you want to do.'
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Meanwhile one sassy user said: 'Write in the card 'our presence is your present' with loads of glitter sprinkled in the envelope'.
Others recited their own experiences, with one explaining that she didn't buy presents when attending a recent wedding abroad.
'I've been to two abroad weddings- one in India another very expensive. We didn't buy presents as it was so expensive to get there'.
And a bride who had exchanged vows abroad herself said: 'You don't have to go to the wedding. I had mine abroad and explained it was entirely optional. I would have been annoyed if anyone who did go complained about the price/ location as it was their own choice to go. Honestly don't go!'
She added: 'Incidentally we got a few lovely gifts but about half our guests didn't gift anything but did give a card. That seems normal for weddings abroad.'
However one user argued that she couldn't attend a wedding without giving a present, writing: 'You can't turn up with nothing. That's just weird. You're obviously begrudging going so I wouldn't bother if I was you.'
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