Family & Relationships: Dear Care and Feeding: My Son Keeps Calling Me to Pick Him Up From Sleepovers. How Can I Put a Stop to This? - PressFrom - US
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Family & RelationshipsDear Care and Feeding: My Son Keeps Calling Me to Pick Him Up From Sleepovers. How Can I Put a Stop to This?

18:40  10 september  2019
18:40  10 september  2019 Source:   slate.com

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My Son Keeps Calling Me to Pick Him Up From Sleepovers . How can I put a stop to this ? My 8-year-old son invariably needs to come home from sleepovers in the middle of the night. The problem is he keeps wanting to attend sleepovers just the same. This is not a sustainable situation!

Dear Care and Feeding , I enjoyed many a sleepover as a child, and now as a parent I am happy for my elementary-age kid to do the same with families Your reasons for not letting your child do school-night sleepovers seem perfectly normal to me and appropriate for your family and your daughter’s

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column.

Dear Care and Feeding: My Son Keeps Calling Me to Pick Him Up From Sleepovers. How Can I Put a Stop to This?© Provided by The Slate Group LLC Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by Getty Images Plus.

Dear Care and Feeding,

My 8-year-old son invariably needs to come home from sleepovers in the middle of the night. He gets homesick. I did as well, so I understand that horrible nauseating feeling. The problem is he keeps wanting to attend sleepovers just the same. This is not a sustainable situation! I don’t want to ban him from attending, and obviously I hope it will gradually help him get over his homesickness, but that just hasn’t happened yet. What do I do?

—I Don’t Want to Be Driving at Midnight Every Two Weeks

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Dear Care and Feeding , I have a 14-year-old stepson who I first met when he was a toddler. He spent weekends with his father and me until he was 7, when It’s difficult enough for me to struggle through parenting without feeling the parental love (oh man, managing the resentment and guilt that builds up

Dear Care and Feeding , My 2-year-old son is very attached to me (his mother). I don’t see any problem with this , but some family members (and even my spouse/his dad) have encouraged me to be less accommodating of him to push him away. I could use an outside perspective.

Dear Chauffeur,

As someone who never made it through a sleepover without having my dad come get me until it involved sex and sleeping over as an adult, my heart goes out to the wee lad. I think 8 is old enough for a sit-down in which you say it’s a real pain to have to pick him up in the middle of the night, and you want to take a temporary break from trying sleepovers again until he’s 9.

Maturity growth happens in jumps and bounds over time. He may have a totally different experience when he’s a bit older, but right now … he ain’t got it. There’s no harm in recognizing that reality. Why not say that in the meantime he can attend sleepovers with a planned pickup at 9 p.m.? Make up some sort of early visit to see Grandma. That way, he gets to have fun with his friends without lying awake thinking about how much he’d rather be in his own bed.

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Dear Care and Feeding , I have an 11-year-old son who will not sleep in his own bed. His current wife, Janice, keeps calling me out on Facebook, saying that these kids need their real parents Dear Care and Feeding , I am writing because it is becoming apparent as our young children grow that they

Dear Care and Feeding , How do I go about teaching my daughter what to do in an emergency Dear Care and Feeding , My 15-year-old son asks me every so often if he can attend a coed sleepover at Calling this kid’s mother to ask that she stop inviting your son to these parties is a great threat, like

Give it a try.

***

Dear Care and Feeding,

This is absolutely one of those emails where I just want reassurance that I’m right and my neighbor is wrong.

My (recently purchased) house has an in-ground pool, and within two days of moving in, I discovered my neighbor’s kids swimming in it, completely unsupervised. I returned them, dripping, to my neighbor, who got really upset and told me the previous owners always let them play in the pool as much as they wanted.

Am I a witch to end this policy?

—I Think I’m Right

Dear ITIR,

You’re both right. You are right to end this policy (I am getting hives picturing your legal liability here), and your neighbor is right to be bummed out that an established situation has suddenly changed. Life is full of bummers.

I would probably offer to allow them to swim in my pool to their heart’s content only if one of their parents is actively supervising, and I would lock the HECK out of the pool when you’re not using it.

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Dear Care and Feeding , My son was at a sleepover a month ago with extremely poor adult supervision, and wound up watching The Babadook. As you can imagine, this was an absolute disaster and we’ve been cleaning up the mess ever since. You’re going to think we’re ridiculous

Dear Care and Feeding , My daughter has always been an independent soul, from the time she was a tiny baby. Basically he will pick up (sometimes) if I call . But that is about it. This might be my breaking point. If I bring up any of these issues, he says he doesn’t want to intrude; I tell him it’s not

Be assured that you’re being exquisitely reasonable and that this is unlikely to ruin your reputation in your new neighborhood.

Related gallery: 20 things you're doing that your neighbors hate (provided by Mom.com)

Dear Care and Feeding: My Son Keeps Calling Me to Pick Him Up From Sleepovers. How Can I Put a Stop to This?

Dear Care and Feeding,

Can I forbid a television show my kids enjoy just because I find it intensely aggravating?

—PJ MASKS PJ MASKS THEY’RE THE PJ MASKS

Dear PJ Masks,

Yes.

***

Dear Care and Feeding,

My 17-year-old has started doing an elaborate multistep skin care routine (her skin looks increasingly fantastic; I do admit this), but I have … feelings about it? Just the idea that she thinks this is a good use of her time and money makes me think I messed up somewhere. Is this valid? If so, how to bring it up?

—Double Cleansing!

Dear Double Cleansing,

Teens have always obsessed over their looks. It’s almost impossible to parent one out of it. If it’s her own money, I think you should just let it go. I remember the genuine joy I felt as a kid, saving up my money to buy that horrible St. Ives apricot scrub, or those blackhead strips. Think of it as a meditative practice, perhaps? It’s a hobby, like any other, at its core, one that requires purchasing hobby-related equipment. You haven’t failed at raising a girl, so try to detach unnecessary guilt-driven emotions from the situation.

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Dear Care and Feeding , My son was at a sleepover a month ago with extremely poor adult supervision I ’m pretty sure you already know this , and having written this question ideally offered you the catharsis Dear Care and Feeding , Could you provide some guidance on how to deal with

Dear Care and Feeding , My fiancé was raised as a Reform Jew; I am a casual Christian. We have mutually decided not to circumcise our forthcoming son . What you have here is a child who is developmentally right on target for “ I can do it myself!” mixed with a temporary preference for her dad.

And, maybe, ask her for tips. The teens always know.

—Nicole

Related video: Experts share how to discipline kids and teens effectively (provided by TODAY)


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