Family & RelationshipsThe Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way
I'm a Stay-at-Home Mom & I Resent My Partner for Having a Life
My husband and I had just finished putting the kids to bed, and I nuzzled into the couch. I cracked a beer and opened a book, exhaling all of the angst from the day. My husband sat down next to me and didn’t waste any time before asking, “Hey, mind if I go golfing on Saturday with the guys?” I immediately inhaled all of that stress right back in, and it turned into resentment — the hot, hot resentment known specifically by stay-at-home moms. My body stiffened, and I pursed my lips. “How many holes?” I asked. “I mean, probably the entire 18,” he said. “Sure,” I said clutching my book. “The kids and I will just go to my mom’s for the day.
Most. (Thanks a lot, social media.) It's a battle that we fight within, often with no real basis. We fret over the occasional yelling, giving our children too much screen time, or simply , like all of the other mothers around us seem to be. It's depleting. After long days with our kids, instead of sleeping soundly in bed at night, we're left wide awake with guilt in our hearts. But as pointless as mom guilt can sometimes be, the that no one ever talks about is that sometimes, it may be a good idea to listen to it.
Of course, every parent is different, and you have to make a judgment call based on your family and your situation. Because you know your kids best! I've just found that a little introspection in the parenting department can often be useful. Personally, I know that listening to my own guilt was one of the best moves I ever made.
4 things you should never give up just because you're a mom now
The dichotomy of what life is like before and after motherhood can feel polarizing. One minute you’re drinking mimosas by the pool with your friends, and the next, you’re knee-deep in newborn responsibilities. While this shift is completely normal, some women begin to feel disconnected from their identity — and guilt themselves into giving up a lot to become a mom. Many women have difficulty separating themselves and their own needs from the role they have taken on as moms,” marriage and family therapist Allen Wagner tells SheKnows.
You see, when my kids were younger, a toddler and a preschooler,. Yes, I soaked in as much of my sweet little ones as I could, but the truth is that I felt like I was the star in the movie Groundhog Day. Every morning, we'd wake up and do the same things over and over again. There's only so many times I could play the same game of make believe with my kids, eat the same breakfast of fruit and a bagel, and . So, instead of looking for a solution, I looked to my phone. I feel guilty admitting this, but I was spending far too much time on social media. And I knew it.
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After some time, the mom guilt started to suffocate me nightly. Instead of dreaming of my sweet children,rather than being present with my children. I ignored it at first. "All mothers look into their phones," I'd tell myself. "It's no big deal." But it felt like a big deal to me.
Finally, I had had enough. I realized something important. That constant guilt that ached within me - it was there for a reason. It was there to teach me to do better. Because you know what? That's what my children deserved. So, I took action.
Related gallery: 15 signs you're doing motherhood right
The kids smile about 90 percent of the time.
They share with others.
You aren't afraid to issue a time-out.
They say please and thank you without being told.
You put their need to eat, bathe, and sleep before your own.
They would rather cry on your shoulder than into a tissue.
They call for you when they have a bad dream.
You never leave the house without a hug.
Your little child loves spending time with you.
Your teen is embarrassed to be seen with you.
You are a mom first and a friend second.
Your partner doesn't know how you do it.
You've stopped crying over spilled milk.
Sometimes the kids say, "I hate you."
But they always say, "I love you."
I researched things to do to combat the monotony I was feeling. I planned weekly adventures with the kids. We went on hikes, to the park, or even just to the library for story time.with other moms and joined two mom groups. As I put the phone away, the guilt evaporated much quicker than I thought it would, too. I settled into motherhood again and instead of sulking in guilt, I beamed knowing that I was giving my children my best again.
The Pressure Moms Face to Breastfeed Is Taking Its Toll, Doctors Say
For the millions of women unable to breastfeed each year, the pro-breastfeeding cavalcade can often leave them feeling lost.In a recent article for the journal Nursing For Women's Health, experts are calling for more research into what happens to a woman who wants to breastfeed, but can’t, and it’s surfacing an important discussion about something many mothers face in silence.
In a weird way, I'm thankful for that hearty dose of mom guilt. I needed to feel that nightly ache to allow myself to finally wake up. My kids deserved a better mother - and that guilt helped me get there.
Moms,. The screen time and junk food? It's not worth it. Please know that you're doing a great job. Your children are loved. But if you're finding that the guilt just isn't melting away as it should, listening to it might just be the solution. I know it made me into the mother I wanted to be for my children - and the mother I know they deserved.
Related video: What can mothers do to avoid isolation? (provided by CBS Minnesota)
Dad's Viral Delivery Room Message Reminds Us You Don't Get a Trophy for the Perfect Birth .
Here's why that's not a bad thing.Ashley J. Gibson's recent Facebook post is a perfect example. She was soldiering through her marathon of labor, unmedicated and miserable, "I was in agony and trying to decide whether or not to get an epidural. I had no idea I was already at the very end of my labor and would be pushing Leo out within minutes," she explains in her post. "All I knew was that I was in pain and couldn't imagine laboring like that for what I thought would be a few more hours." Her husband was with her, providing lots of support and encouragement, but he said four little words that made a huge impact.
Why Moms Are Miserable | Sheryl Ziegler | TEDxWilmingtonWomen
Sheryl Ziegler, Doctor of Psychology, shares what mothers need in their lives in order to experience happiness and help prevent loneliness and depression.
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