Family & Relationships: The Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way - PressFrom - US
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Family & RelationshipsThe Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way

21:41  11 september  2019
21:41  11 september  2019 Source:   popsugar.com

I'm a Stay-at-Home Mom & I Resent My Partner for Having a Life

I'm a Stay-at-Home Mom & I Resent My Partner for Having a Life My husband and I had just finished putting the kids to bed, and I nuzzled into the couch. I cracked a beer and opened a book, exhaling all of the angst from the day. My husband sat down next to me and didn’t waste any time before asking, “Hey, mind if I go golfing on Saturday with the guys?” I immediately inhaled all of that stress right back in, and it turned into resentment — the hot, hot resentment known specifically by stay-at-home moms. My body stiffened, and I pursed my lips. “How many holes?” I asked. “I mean, probably the entire 18,” he said. “Sure,” I said clutching my book. “The kids and I will just go to my mom’s for the day.

Most moms today face mom guilt. (Thanks a lot, social media.) It's a battle that we fight within, often with no real basis. We fret over the occasional yelling, giving our children too much screen time, or simply feeling like we're not measuring up as a mother, like all of the other mothers around us seem to be. It's depleting. After long days with our kids, instead of sleeping soundly in bed at night, we're left wide awake with guilt in our hearts. But as pointless as mom guilt can sometimes be, the truth about mom guilt that no one ever talks about is that sometimes, it may be a good idea to listen to it.

The Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way© Getty / MoMo Productions The Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way

Of course, every parent is different, and you have to make a judgment call based on your family and your situation. Because you know your kids best! I've just found that a little introspection in the parenting department can often be useful. Personally, I know that listening to my own guilt was one of the best moves I ever made.

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You see, when my kids were younger, a toddler and a preschooler, motherhood grew to feel mundane to me. Yes, I soaked in as much of my sweet little ones as I could, but the truth is that I felt like I was the star in the movie Groundhog Day. Every morning, we'd wake up and do the same things over and over again. There's only so many times I could play the same game of make believe with my kids, eat the same breakfast of fruit and a bagel, and reward them for potty training. So, instead of looking for a solution, I looked to my phone. I feel guilty admitting this, but I was spending far too much time on social media. And I knew it.

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After some time, the mom guilt started to suffocate me nightly. Instead of dreaming of my sweet children, I'd feel awful about spending too much time scrolling through social media rather than being present with my children. I ignored it at first. "All mothers look into their phones," I'd tell myself. "It's no big deal." But it felt like a big deal to me.

Finally, I had had enough. I realized something important. That constant guilt that ached within me - it was there for a reason. It was there to teach me to do better. Because you know what? That's what my children deserved. So, I took action.

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The Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way
The Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way
The Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way
The Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way
The Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way
The Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way
The Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way
The Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way
The Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way
The Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way
The Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way
The Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way
The Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way
The Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way
The Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way
The Truth About Mom Guilt That Moms Don't Talk About - That I Learned the Hard Way

I researched things to do to combat the monotony I was feeling. I planned weekly adventures with the kids. We went on hikes, to the park, or even just to the library for story time. I also scheduled play dates with other moms and joined two mom groups. As I put the phone away, the guilt evaporated much quicker than I thought it would, too. I settled into motherhood again and instead of sulking in guilt, I beamed knowing that I was giving my children my best again.

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In a weird way, I'm thankful for that hearty dose of mom guilt. I needed to feel that nightly ache to allow myself to finally wake up. My kids deserved a better mother - and that guilt helped me get there.

Moms, don't let the guilt about the little things keep you awake at night. The screen time and junk food? It's not worth it. Please know that you're doing a great job. Your children are loved. But if you're finding that the guilt just isn't melting away as it should, listening to it might just be the solution. I know it made me into the mother I wanted to be for my children - and the mother I know they deserved.

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Here's why that's not a bad thing.Ashley J. Gibson's recent Facebook post is a perfect example. She was soldiering through her marathon of labor, unmedicated and miserable, "I was in agony and trying to decide whether or not to get an epidural. I had no idea I was already at the very end of my labor and would be pushing Leo out within minutes," she explains in her post. "All I knew was that I was in pain and couldn't imagine laboring like that for what I thought would be a few more hours." Her husband was with her, providing lots of support and encouragement, but he said four little words that made a huge impact.

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