Family & Relationships: A relationship expert believes couples can be stronger after cheating, but there are 4 important steps to rebuilding trust again - Snowfall: "two days of hard work" before fully turning the power back on, believes Enedis - PressFrom - US
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Family & Relationships A relationship expert believes couples can be stronger after cheating, but there are 4 important steps to rebuilding trust again

18:32  19 november  2019
18:32  19 november  2019 Source:   msn.com

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A relationship expert believes couples can be stronger after cheating , but there are 4 important steps to rebuilding trust again . She told Insider the bond between couples can actually become stronger after infidelity. But there 's a catch — they need the "four Rs of apology" to make it work

When someone cheats, the reasons are always bad. But according to a relationship expert, the act itself may sometimes lead to something good - a stronger partnership.

  A relationship expert believes couples can be stronger after cheating, but there are 4 important steps to rebuilding trust again © Flickr/Sascha Kohlmann

Jenn Mann, the author of "The Relationship Fix," told Insider the main reasons people stray is a lack of connection in the relationship and sexual dissatisfaction.

"Most people do not realize how important creating, maintaining, and nurturing connection in a relationship is," she said. "There will always be temptations, but when a couple is feeling connected the odds of acting on those temptations go down significantly."

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Can a relationship thrive again after something as trust -altering as infidelity? A lot of people want a magic and instant fix, but rebuilding trust takes a lot of work. This can be frustrating for the partner who cheated , but forgiveness that is authentic is much more important than forgiveness that is quick

Rebuilding trust in your relationship can be difficult after it has been broken or compromised. Depending on the nature of the offense, convincing your partner that you can be trusted again may even feel impossible. The good news is it’s not.

But cheating doesn't always mean the end of a relationship, she added. In fact, Mann believes it can even make a bond between a couple stronger. But couples who do survive are the ones who are willing to look at their flaws and the mistakes that led up to the affair.

"This is painful and difficult to do, especially after being betrayed and hurt so deeply," she said. "A well-trained couples therapist can be very helpful here."

But it's not simply a case of forgiving and forgetting. No relationship can move forward unless they have the "four Rs of apology," Mann said.

"In order for the relationship to be able to heal, the couple has to be able to process what happened, why it happened and how to avoid it in the future," she said. "When the cheater stays defensive or unwilling to process the hurt he or she has caused, the relationship is unlikely to achieve a positive outcome."

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Building trust after cheating can make your relationship stronger . Cheating is one of the biggest tests a relationship can face. It's not easy to build back trust the lost after someone is But the good news is , Hussey does believe that damaged trust can be earned back, but through what he terms as

The four Rs of apology

1. Remorse - The first step is a heartfelt apology, Mann said, which is more than a simple "I'm sorry." She said a meaningful apology means communicating real regret and an understanding of the hurt caused.

2. Taking responsibility - This means showing ownership of your actions and the impact, regardless of your intent, Mann said. This lets the other person know you appreciate the gravity of what you did wrong.

3. Recognition - Everyone's feelings need to be acknowledged and listened to after something as traumatic as cheating, so it's important there's the opportunity for each partner to talk through what happened and explain how it made them feel.

4. Remedy - If you want to make amends, you must take action to avoid another affair, Mann said. This means addressing the underlying issues that led up to the cheating in the first place, like attending therapy or going to rehab.

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Relationships are built on a foundation of trust , and when I undermined the foundation a thousand times, I didn’t expect the relationship to survive. Once you discover these blind spots, start working on them, or at the very least, own them. Because these could be the very things holding you back in

"Despite common belief , couples can not only rebuild trust after infidelity, but make their relationship stronger than it’s ever been ,” she tells Believing that there is hope for the future of the relationship is just the first step to rebuilding the trust that was lost. Here's what the experts say is

a person standing in front of a restaurant© Hinterhaus Productions/Getty Images

The level of trust in a relationship is "irrevocably changed" after cheating, Mann said, but couples can make it through if they're willing to put in the work it takes to forgive.

Overall, connection is the "greatest vaccination" against infidelity, she said, so it's important couples work towards building that up again.

"There will always be someone who is younger, hotter, thinner, perkier, fitter, or better endowed," she said.

"But if you are nurturing a sense of connection with your partner - striving to make them feel loved and adored, and providing something unique that no one else can provide overnight, or provide it the way you do - you have the home court advantage."

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How Do You Know If You're In a Toxic Relationship? .
Here, psychotherapist Dr. Jenn Mann shares the signs of a toxic relationship to watch out for.I've been in an on-again, off-again relationship for years. Our fights are super explosive and intense — we tend to go below the belt and say things we regret. I spend way too much time in tears.

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