Family & Relationships: 7 Questions to Consider Before Getting Back With Your Ex - - PressFrom - US
  •   
  •   
  •   

Family & Relationships 7 Questions to Consider Before Getting Back With Your Ex

20:10  03 december  2019
20:10  03 december  2019 Source:   oprahmag.com

UPDATE 1-U.S. recorded 7 new cases of measles last week, lowest of 2019

UPDATE 1-U.S. recorded 7 new cases of measles last week, lowest of 2019 The United States recorded only seven new measles cases last week, the lowest number so far this year, bringing the total for cases to 1,241 in the worst outbreak since 1992, federal health officials said on Monday. © R&A Studio/Getty Images The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said it had recorded cases of the highly contagious and sometimes deadly disease in 31 states as of Sept. 5. The weekly increase is the latest indication that the outbreak is slowing from the dozens of cases reported per week earlier this year.

As painful as a breakup can be, relationships usually end for good reason—especially when one or both of you are unhappy more often than not, and you'd be better off meeting someone new. On rarer occasions, lingering feelings for an ex are so strong that "rekindling things" doesn't quite describe it, because that fire never went out. Even many seemingly-rock-solid celebrity marriages were preceded by a brief split: Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard, Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo and Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade, to name just a few.

a person sitting on a couch: Getting back together with an ex after a breakup that hurt you can work out. Here's how to know if it's right for you. © fizkes - Getty Images Getting back together with an ex after a breakup that hurt you can work out. Here's how to know if it's right for you.

Reconciliations can work out, but is it right for your situation? Here's some expert advice on the questions to ask when you're considering getting back together with an ex.

7 Questions Your Therapist Will Probably Ask During Your First Session

7 Questions Your Therapist Will Probably Ask During Your First Session To ease your pre-appointment jitters, we asked therapists to reveal what they typically bring up with clients during the first session. Below, they share what you need to know to start (or re-start) therapy on the right foot. Questions You’ll Probably Be Asked © Maskot via Getty Images These are common questions that therapists ask their new clients during the first appointment. Before your first session, your therapist will likely send over some intake paperwork to fill out.

Is the main issue that drove you apart resolvable?

"The number one criteria that must be met is that something has changed," says psychologist Cortney Warren, PhD. "There is a reason that the relationship didn't work the last time you dated—maybe many reasons. Whatever they were contributed to your previous breakup. So, if it's going to work this time, one or both of you must have evolved."

"Unless they fix what the situation was that broke them up to begin with, it's just going to happen again and again," says relationship expert Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, citing possible differences such as religion or wanting to move away for a job.

Do you both agree on what your past differences were?

In order to work out the issues that caused the breakup, you need to agree on what those problems were in the first place. Failure to do so will bring the reunion honeymoon period to a screeching halt a week, a month, or two months in, says Sussman.

What's The Deal With The Goop In Canned Beans?

  What's The Deal With The Goop In Canned Beans? About to drain and rinse your beans? Not so fast.Now, when cooking dried beans, the liquid is pure gold: usable and totally delicious.

"The couple has to have a really good talk," she continues. "They have to have a true understanding of the narrative of what broke them up. They should be on the same page about that narrative, and they should be on the same page about what needs to change."

Have you given each other enough space to know how to do things better this time?

Don't even consider getting back together until you've given your split some room to breathe, Sussman warns. "Has the couple had time during that breakup to reflect and change, and maybe work on themselves?" she asks. "That couple has a greater likelihood of working it out than the couple who only broke up for two weeks and just gets back together out of insecurity, loneliness, or for the wrong reasons."

Is your ex open to getting back together?

This should probably go without saying, but exploring the possibility of reconciliation needs to be mutual. Too many movies portray the hero as "persistent" and "romantic" when he's actually exhibiting stalking behavior, as this Atlantic article highlights, while in real life, requests like "don't call me again" should always be taken seriously.

Pediatricians are more likely to ask families about smoke alarm safety than gun safety, study says

  Pediatricians are more likely to ask families about smoke alarm safety than gun safety, study says A study found that pediatricians and pediatric residents were less likely to ask their patients about gun storage safety than smoke alarm safety — indicating an overall hesitation in bringing up gun safety with their patients. require(["medianetNativeAdOnArticle"], function (medianetNativeAdOnArticle) { medianetNativeAdOnArticle.getMedianetNativeAds(true); }); A team of doctors and researchers analyzed health records collected between January 2017 and July 2018.

If you do want to broach the topic, Sussman recommends reaching out to see if they're open to discussing it. "It's always good to take responsibility, say 'Hey, I've done a lot of soul searching and I've seen mistakes that I made, and I'd really like the opportunity to talk with you,'" she says. "So you're not asking for anything in person, just listen to what they have to say. I think that's always a good opportunity to take personal responsibility."

Are you afraid you won't find someone else?

This is one of those aforementioned wrong reasons to reunite, says Sussman: "It's fear. Fear of being alone, fear of never meeting anybody, fear that this is the last opportunity they're going to have, fear of dating." Wondering if you'll ever find a match after a romantic disappointment is completely understandable. But that worry shouldn't guide your choices.

Will you ask your ex the tough questions?

This is particularly important if they're the one initiating a reconciliation, or they've disappointed and hurt you repeatedly in the past. "You can be skeptical," Sussman says, asking them things such as, 'what makes you think it's going to be different this time? Why should I believe you? How do I know you're going to be consistent in what you're saying?'"

These 20 Countries Won't be Under-the-Radar Destinations For Long

  These 20 Countries Won't be Under-the-Radar Destinations For Long Be one of the first to explore these up-and-coming countries.

Warren offers a few more: "What's different about who you are now that will make our relationship work this time around? And what do you need from me to make this succeed that you didn't get last time we dated?"

Have you conveniently forgotten the darker parts of your relationship?

Take a cold-eyed inventory of your relationship. Did the happier times really outnumber the sad ones?

"Humans often look back on an ex with rose-tinted glasses and remember only the positive aspects of the relationship," Warren explains. "For many, we selectively remember only what was good about an ex and former relationship because the negative aspects of the relationship that broke us up are too painful or upsetting to hold in our conscious awareness." Instead of scrolling through old selfies of you two on a tropical vacation, you might try checking the transcripts—aka, your old emails and text exchanges—to better revisit what things were truly like.

"If it was a relationship where the good outweighs the bad, I'd be hard pressed to wonder, 'why not get back together?,'" Sussman says. "I've seen couples do it, and go on and get married, and stay married. It can happen."

Related video: How to heal a broken heart (provided by Newsweek)

Nurses reveal the 7 questions you should never be afraid to ask your doctor .
Nurses suggest patients advocate for themselves, as diagnostic errors (or mistakes doctors can make) affect 1 in 20 adults each year.

—   Share news in the SOC. Networks

Topical videos:

usr: 0
This is interesting!