Family & Relationships I Got Help for My sex Addiction and Discovered My True Calling
Melissa Etheridge felt ‘helpless’ watching son struggle with addiction before his death
"The drug abuse really turned him into someone I didn't know," the singer says about her late son, Beckett, in a new interview."When opioid addiction took my son, I wasn't going to hide that. It feels better to be open about it, to be truthful about it," the 59-year-old told People in a new interview. "We're here to be an example.
SAM LOUIE, 49, wanted to be a TV journalist. But to cope with the pressure, he harbored a secret life of p*** and sex. Then switched him to a different career path: therapist.
It was the mistakes that would crush him.“After I messed something up on air, I would literally want to curl up in bed in the fetal position and not go anywhere,” says Louie, who started out as a television reporter in Missoula, Montana, in 1996.
His parents didn’t love that Louie entered journalism, but he hoped once they saw him on TV, they’d change their minds.
What the “You Never Want to Have Sex” Fight Is Really About
At least, it's probably about much more.When it comes to issues of sexless marriage, any number of things could be going on — and it may or may not be about sex. The good news is, you can address these underlying problems and get back to a sex life that satisfies both of you.
“In Asian families, there can be pressure in perpetuating the family. I had to honor the Louie name,” he says. Except that Louie never really changed his own mind.“I had a boss once tell me,‘You know, Sam, I don’t know if you have a fire in the belly for this work.’”
And he was right, says Louie—though it took him years to figure it out, years that involved better-paying gigs with more clout but also more and more pressure.
At first, p*** was a way to release that pressure.“Every single night, after working a swing shift, I’d get home at midnight and be online looking at pornography while my wife was in bed,” Louie says.
She eventually caught him; the two of them went to couples counseling, but they ultimately divorced in 2001. After that, Louie’s addiction progressed to massage parlors and prostitution until finally he sought help in the form of specialized therapists and group therapy.
The shooter blamed sex addiction, but experts have no doubt the Atlanta killings were racially motivated
Experts say the Atlanta spa shootings are related to America's "long history" of sexualizing and dehumanizing Asian women.In a Wednesday morning press conference, Cherokee County police confirmed that Robert Aaron Long, "took responsibility" for the shootings. Long told police that he previously visited the massage parlors where the shootings took place. Police said he may have been "lashing out" by trying to eliminate temptation, but declined not comment on whether sex work took place at the massage parlors.
During and between those meetings, Louie says an idea kept popping up:“You’re drawn to this mental-health stuff. Why don’t you do it?”
So he entered grad school in 2007 and two years later became a licensed therapist.“Something just welled up in me that said,‘You’ve got to do it even if you fail.’” The fire in the belly.
Today, Louie has 20 years of recovery, works as a licensed mental-health counselor, and is the author of Asian Shame and Addiction.“I’ve found what I’m supposed to do with my life. I no longer need external validation,” Louie says.“There’s freedom in that.”
A version of this article originally appeared in the May 2021 issue of Men's Health.
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These newlyweds say a videographer walked out of their wedding because they're a same-sex couple. Now, they're fighting discrimination in the wedding industry. .
Clarissa and Teegan Templeton said their wedding in North Carolina was ruined after their videographer walked out.For the past 14 months, they have both worked two jobs to afford their dream wedding on a farm in North Carolina. Along with reserving the venue, flowers, and a photographer, they also booked a videographer through Tolman Media, an international company that has branches throughout the US.