Health & FitWhen a Restaurant Server Used the R-Word in Front of My Family
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When I found out my son would be born with Down syndrome, I worried he would be diminished by others simply because of his diagnosis. I feared he wouldn’t be given a fair chance and dreaded the day he would be made fun of, boxed in or called “retarded.”.
As a 21-year-old college student, I hear the words “retard” and “retarded” get tossed around frequently and nonchalantly. “Dude, you’re so retarded.”. “Are you kidding me? Stop being such a retard.”. It’s like I have selective hearing to this nasty word .
This morning we went for lunch, just me, my husband and the babies to have a little time to ourselves. Our lunch was going great at Texas Roadhouse — until the moment I have dreaded for two years happened. Our server decided to use the R-word. Not directed at my child thankfully, but still standing less than five feet from our table.
© The Mighty Shannon’s son, a small boy with Down syndrome, blonde hair and a big smile, playing at home.
It took me a minute to calm down before I could say anything, and I wanted to use this opportunity to educate instead of scold. So I simply explained she used a word that simply should not be used. At first she looked at me like she didn’t know what I was talking about, so I told her that she used the R-word. I then explained that my son has Down syndrome and that word is hurtful not only to us, but many other people with intellectual disabilities as well.
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The “ R - word .”. You may hear it being said as you live your life. Maybe you hear it in the mall, a restaurant , at work, school, or as you’re walking down the street. I don’t know about you, but when I hear the “ R - word ,” it gets my attention.
The word ‘ Restaurant ’ derives from the French verb restaurer, meaning to restore. It was first used in France in the 16th century, to describe the thick and cheap soups sold by But his soup-shop was still a long way off from the types of establishment we think of today when we utter the word restaurant .
She started by saying she was only using it to refer to herself, but I explained that using any hateful language is not acceptable. It is not OK to refer to ourselves or anyone with derogatory terms. I asked her if she thought it was OK to use the N-word. Of course she didn’t, and at that moment she understood how much one word she said hurt us.
I am actively trying every day to raise my kids to be kind and understanding, little humans who will one day spread love and compassion instead of the hate that is rampant in today’s world. But in two syllables, someone can spread so much hurt and hate. I want to change the world for my son. I want him to be included and understood. I want people to look at him and see the person he is, not judge him by his diagnosis.
There are simply words that shouldn’t be used anymore. Yes, at one point in time they were acceptable, but we have grown as a society and our language should reflect that. Let’s spread the word to end the R-word and all other words like it!
10 things that annoy us when we are at the restaurant
© CuisineAZ 10 things that annoy us when we are at the restaurant Go to the restaurant is a great way to discover other types of cuisine, to taste recipes that the we can not or we can not do at home, have fun and have a good time. Except that, unfortunately, there are several things that annoy us! Here are ten by Fork & Bikini.
1 / Unpriced menus
Although rare, they still exist today. You know, these are the menus "1 entry + 1 dish" or "1 dish + 1 dessert" annotated on the restaurant menus. When we have a big hunger, we always choose ... to the detriment of our wallet! Because yes, no price (for these menus) is unveiled. Of course, we would like to live in a world where we do not need to think about money, but to pay more than 30 balls of spaghetti bolo and a chocolate fondant, it hurts!
2 / Slow service
Nothing is worse than slow service in the restaurant. We get impatient, we get bored and we are hungry like wolves! Between each plate, we wait more than 20 minutes a few times. The worst is when you wait (already) the arrival of the server to order drinks or entry. Grrr!
3 / ... or too fast!
Conversely, a service that is too fast is not better! With a wait of 5 minutes maximum between the order, the entry, the dish, the dessert and the addition, one has the impression to be in a fast-food or, worse, to be a lambda client! And we are not talking about the digestion that follows. Since we ate at high speed V, it is more than complicated. Ouch!
4 / The paid water
You do not find it abused that the water is often paying at the restaurant? When we ask a server, it always brings us bottled water brand Vittel®, Volvic®, Evian® and we pass ... On the bill, this damn bottle is over 3 euros all over even ! "And the tap water in the carafe, you know moron?
5 / The server that pulls the
face Certainly, the job of server is difficult, fatigue and stress are accentuated and tips are (often) thin, but still, we would have liked that the server of this afternoon forgets his worries and approaches us with a little more dynamism and spirit throughout the service. There, he pulled the face from the beginning to the end ...
6 / ... or a little too much talking!
Anyone who is too comfortable and very chatty with his clients can also be annoying. Do you imagine yourself, in full romantic rendezvous with your half ... and the waiter next door who does not fail to relax the atmosphere by telling light jokes? In a word: soulful!
7 / The forgetting of bread
Often, the waiter zaps the basket of bread when he brings us our main course. O.K., you do not need to eat bread when you order lasagna bolognese or steak-fries. But when it's a beef tartare or a salade nicoise that we have chosen, what to say except that the forgetfulness of the server is a bit of fucking mouth!
8 / The noisy neighbor
She has something to say about the system at the restaurant. Yes, the noisy neighbor next to the table would do better to be more discreet during our meal. By dint of talking hyper loudly and / or laugh out loud, we get excited, we glance at him and is on the verge of him paste a good pair of slaps! And paf!
9 / "Formula Lunch" or "Formula Evening" menus
Have you ever noticed that the "Formula Evening" menu attracts us more when we have lunch at the restaurant, or conversely, that the "Lunch Form" menu is more appealing to us when do we dine at the restaurant? Every time, we feel frustrated at not being able to order it ... Why not do one and the same menu? WHY ?
10 / The CB "machiste"
In the collective spirit, it's up to the man to pay the bill when he is accompanied by a woman at the restaurant. We are talking about "CB chauvinist" because the waiter always asks for the means of payment and / or always deposits the bill next to Cheri when we are at the restaurant. It has the gift to annoy us! It's 2016, times have changed, women have the right to pay too!
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When I found out my son would be born with Down syndrome, I worried he would be diminished by others simply because of his diagnosis. I feared he wouldn’t be given a fair chance and dreaded the day he would be made fun of, boxed in or called “retarded.”.
When I Confronted My Lunch Date Over Using the R - Word | The MightyAs a 21-year-old college student, I hear the words “retard” and “retarded” get tossed around frequently and nonchalantly. “Dude, you’re so retarded.”. “Are you kidding me? Stop being such a retard.”. It’s like I have selective hearing to this nasty word .
Why I Ask You Not to Say the R - Word | The MightyThe “ R - word .”. You may hear it being said as you live your life. Maybe you hear it in the mall, a restaurant , at work, school, or as you’re walking down the street. I don’t know about you, but when I hear the “ R - word ,” it gets my attention.
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