Health & Fit There Are 5 Stages of Grief, Experts Say-Here's What to Expect From Each One

07:45  11 june  2021
07:45  11 june  2021 Source:   health.com

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The five stages of death became the five stages of grief . This grief can come in many forms and from different reasons. Everyone, from all walks of life and across cultures, experiences loss and grief at some point. Mourning doesn’t come only from dealing with your own death or the death of a loved one . And denial could be more of a sense of shock and disbelief than an actual expectation that something out of the blue will fix the loss. The emotions used to contextualize the stages of grief aren’t the only ones you’ll experience. You might not even experience them at all, and that’ s natural too.

The five stages , denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief . “What if I devote the rest of my life to helping others. Then can I wake up and realize this has all been a bad dream?” We become lost in a maze of “If only…” or “What if…” statements. We want life returned to what is was ; we want our loved one restored. We want to go back in time: find the tumor sooner, recognize the illness more

Whether it's the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, or any of life's small and large tragedies, we all grieve at some point. While you shouldn't anticipate that your grief will resemble another person's, there are certain common stages of grief we all experience.

Getty / Design by Jo Imperio © Provided by Health.com Getty / Design by Jo Imperio a man wearing a suit and tie: Everyone who grieves experiences them, but we do it in our own way on our own timetable. © Getty / Design by Jo Imperio Everyone who grieves experiences them, but we do it in our own way on our own timetable.

Where the stages of grief originated

These stages of grief have typically been classified as denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance. The five stages originate from a 1969 book, On Death and Dying, written by psychiatrist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross. Though there's some dissent about these five stages and not everyone goes through them at the same time or the same way, they've been accepted by psychology experts for decades and remain the model that is applied to all forms of loss.

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As we consider the five stages of grief , it is important to note that people grieve differently and you may or may not go through each of these stages, or experience each of them in order. The lines of these stages are often blurred—we may move from one stage to the other and possibly back again before fully moving into a British psychiatrist Colin Murray Parkes developed a model of grief based on Bowlby' s theory of attachment, suggesting there are four phases of mourning when experiencing the loss of a loved one : Shock and numbness: Loss in this phase feels impossible to accept.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross described five stages of grief , popularly referred to as DABDA. They include: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression. & Acceptance. The Kubler-Ross Model is a tried and true guideline but there is no right or wrong way to work through your grief and it is normal that your personal experience may vary as you work through the grieving process. If you or a loved one is having a hard time coping with a grief event, seek treatment from a health professional or mental health provider.

"Coping with a loss is a very singular and unique experience to each person," Holly Schiff, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist in Connecticut with Jewish Family Services of Greenwich, tells Health. Nor is the grieving process accompanied by a timetable, although often the worst symptoms peak at the six-month mark, she notes.

The grieving process is a "messy jumble of highs and lows, ebbs and flows, steps forward and backwards," Schiff says.

Here, a look at what happens during each of these five stages, along with coping strategies for grieving.

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Grief stage 1: denial

This initial stage of grief helps us to cope and survive a loss, Schiff says. "You are living in a 'preferable' reality, rather than actual reality," she says. You might refuse to acknowledge the loss by keeping it to yourself and going about your life. When emotions start to overwhelm you and urge to to face the loss, you fight back and focus your mind elsewhere.

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You may have heard that there are five stages of grief . This is one approach to thinking about grief that many people have found helpful.

Grief -stricken individuals who feel the death of their loved one is unexpected or violent may be at greater risk for suffering from major depression, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or prolonged grief . The seven emotional stages of grief are usually understood to be shock or disbelief, denial Grief is the normal internal feeling one experiences in reaction to a loss, while bereavement is the state of experiencing that loss. Although people often suffer emotional pain in response to loss of anything that is very important to them (for example, a job, a friendship or other relationship, one ' s sense of

You may experience shock or disbelief while navigating denial, Arianna Galligher, LISW-S, associate director of the STAR Trauma Recovery Center at Ohio State University's Wexner Medical Center, tells Health. "Many people describe feeling numb," Galligher says, or struggle to connect with their emotions.

Grief stage 2: anger

Grief-related anger may lead you to ask "Why me?" or wonder why life is unfair, Schiff says.

"This response may be directed outward, inward, or both," Galligher says. That is, it's not unusual to blame yourself or to feel anger toward friends, family members, and others. In the case of a bad medical diagnosis, for instance, the target might be a doctor who didn't catch the disease early on-or, someone who is fired may feel fury at their boss.

If it's a loved one's death you're grieving, you could also be angry at the person-furious that they didn't seek help sooner for a health symptom or mental anguish. If you're grieving the end of a relationship or job, you might feel anger toward your ex or boss, blaming them for things ending.

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The stages of grief with a narc are interchangeable. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross originally stated the five stages , however I 've read about 7 stages (breaking down the five into smaller steps) If you read the to the last stage, you'll see that if you reach acceptance, you are not the same person you once ( I 'm no expert , or guru. Just a seasoned vet. Sadly) Needless to say , with all those things being worked into your psyche (think of a ball of string being twisted, turned, intertwined and repeated knotted) you need at least double the amount of time to unwork that mess.(knotted mess) Give yourself time to work

My research turned up the five — or seven, depending on the source — stages of grief . It revealed ways of grieving and ceremonies that were supposed to ease this time in my life. I was to be reassured, according to one theory, that everyone dies, that life is death, therefore grief will come to us all. Friends tried to understand as I raged on the phone, bawling. I got startlingly angry with people I love very much, loudly telling one friend to stop trying to relate to what I was going through and just listen, for Chrissakes. Every time my phone buzzed, my heart seized: This was the call, I just knew it.

Anger may feel unfamiliar, or maybe immature. But don't avoid this necessary stage of grief, Schiff says. "The more you allow yourself to feel it, the more quickly it will dissipate."

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Grief stage 3: bargaining

During the bargaining phase of grief, people seek to resume their pre-loss life. Essentially, it becomes an attempt to negotiate out of the grief, Schiff says.

Many people experience guilt during this phase, too. "This response is often punctuated by 'what if' or 'if only' thoughts that seek to regain some sense of control when a person is feeling helpless or powerless over the outcome of a situation," Galligher notes.

These thoughts may circle around and around: What if we'd skipped that errand-then we would have avoided the car accident. Or if only I'd made time for weekly date nights, we'd still be together.

Grief stage 4: depression

Facing the new, post-loss reality can lead to sadness and despair, Schiff says. "This is a natural and appropriate response to grief," she explains.

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During this phase, you may feel lonely, cry frequently, or feel disengaged from your regular activities and relationships. Depression can affect your sleep and appetite. People in this stage might find themselves losing or gaining weight, or they could feeling fatigued during the day because they're waking up throughout the night.

Depression isn't always displayed with a lot of emotion, however; sometimes it mean simply feel uninterested in day-to-day life and not feeling strongly about anything. If you don't cry, it's doesn't mean you aren't in the depression stage of grief. Think of "depression" as more of a stage where your emotions are muted, with grief preventing you from finding pleasure or contentment in things.

Grief stage 5: acceptance

Reaching the acceptance stage of loss doesn't imply that you feel happiness-it simply indicates that you've acclimated to the loss and your new reality, Galligher says.

That means that while your emotions may stabilize, during the acceptance stage you may still feel sorrowful. During this phase, you're learning to live with your loss, Schiff says.

While your emotions may stabilize, and you may no longer have the extremes of other stages, sadness may still occur.

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Other ways of looking at grief

The Kübler-Ross theory can make grieving seem like an orderly, step-by-step process.

But in reality, mourning a loss isn't a math equation: You may find yourself going from one stage to another and then again, Schiff says. Or, you may "even feel like you are in multiple stages at once as you cycle through a variety of emotions," she says.

This rigidity is one of a few reasons for critiques of the Kübler-Ross model, Galligher says. This approach also assumes that all cultures conceptualize-and therefore, cope-with grief in the same way, she notes, which is not necessarily accurate. Other modern theories of grief focus less on stages and more on grief-related tasks (think: accepting the loss), Galligher says.

When to seek help

The grieving process can feel isolating and overwhelming. "It is important for people to seek help when they are grieving, and lean on family and friends for support," Schiff says.

Grief can understandably affect your mental health, so consider reaching out for professional help if grieving-and feelings associated with the process-are making it hard for you to handle day-to-day functions or maintain relationships, Galligher says. Attending support groups or seeing a therapist can help you navigate life after loss, she says.

"If you feel like grief is taking over your life, speak to someone," Schiff says.

Grief coping tactics

Navigating grief is innately challenging, but here are some therapist-recommended strategies to potentially ease the process:

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Let your support system go work

While your grief is personal, there's no need for it to be a solo operation. Seek support from friends, family, therapists, and support groups, Schiff recommends. She also recommends informing people in your workplace as needed. That way, "your job doesn't expect the same 'you' to show up every day."

Feel your feelings

"Give yourself permission to feel a range of emotions without judgement," Galligher recommends. Expect challenging days and weeks to occur. It can be helpful to allocate a certain amount of time each day to grieving, Schiff says. But give yourself the grace of grieving without a deadline-again, there's no set end-date for the process.

Prioritize self-care

Make sure you're taking care of your physical and emotional needs: Don't neglect sleep, exercise, and eating, Galligher says. And, avoid self-medicating with alcohol or drugs, she adds.

Plan ahead

Anniversaries, holidays, and other milestones can trigger feelings of grief, Galligher notes. "Engage in intentional self-care in anticipation" of these moments, she recommends. That might mean, for instance, deleting social media in the lead-up, taking time off of work, or reaching out to loved ones for support.

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