Smart Living: 9 Things 20-Something Working Moms Want You to Know - - PressFrom - US

Smart Living9 Things 20-Something Working Moms Want You to Know

22:05  31 july  2019
22:05  31 july  2019 Source:

Dealing with tension from working moms and stay-at-home moms

Dealing with tension from working moms and stay-at-home moms My social life has changed radically, with the moms in both groups wanting nothing to do with me. I have no interest in judging anyone else’s choices or holding mine out as superior – I just want to be able to hang out with the moms and kids I like without feeling that I am distrusted by both the working and the at-home moms. How do I get there? Do I need to wear a banner proclaiming that I respect all lifestyles? - A Bat Amongst Beasts and Birds They all sound awful. I wanted to write something funny, but I don’t have any.

On the one hand, we still want to go out with our friends, but on the other hand, we have to parent.

9 Things 20-Something Working Moms Want You to Know© Provided by Bonnier Corporation 20-Something Working Mom

We love our babies, but we love our careers too.

Photo: iStock

Working motherhood can be difficult and crazy stressful at any age, but if you're a working mom in your 20s, considered to be on the younger end of the spectrum, it can seem all the more challenging. Although you're already considered an adult, you're still figuring yourself out, but with a child in the picture, you have to do this—or pretend to do this—at a faster rate, for the sake of your family. And these days, if you're a working mom in your 20s, you also happen to be a Millennial—and they don't get a good rap either, since they're often stereotyped as being entitled.

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To give a little bit of insight on what it's like to actually be a working mom in your 20s, interviewed one 29-year-old working mom from New Jersey, who works as a nurse, and is the mother to a toddler daughter. Below, she clears up some misconceptions about raising a child and balancing a career while you're in your 20s.

1. We want to go out, just not spontaneously.

"I became a mom in my late 20s, and am currently the only one in my group of close girlfriends who has a child. I’m sure my friends have heard every excuse in the world, but when I say my daughter is sick, or I just can’t find a babysitter, I really mean it. There are times when I really miss those pre-mama, carefree days when I could say yes to a girl’s night out on the flip of a dime, but those days are over. Now, to say yes to going out requires prepping, finding a sitter, and making sure that my baby’s needs are cared for.

What Being a Mom Looks Like Around the World

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"In the beginning, I was so sad that I couldn't go out to see them, because I had to learn motherhood so fast. And the few times I did go out to see them, I missed my daughter so much. It's so hard to go out when you're pumping. I sometimes wish I had more time with my husband before introducing a baby into the picture, just so we could do more stuff. We still go out, but we have to plan it in advance more."

2. We're not all financially illiterate.

"I have immigrant parents who taught me from an early age the importance of being responsible with my money, and that's even more important now that I have a child. I'm a supervisor at my job, and I put 50 percent of my income into my savings with my husband, who also works."

3. Since so many of us grew up with working moms, not all of us feel guilty we have to work.

"I don't feel too guilty because I'm providing for my child's future. I think it's because I grew up with a working mom, so it's normal to me that a woman would work while raising kids."

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4. Not all of us are in a rush to have more kids because our bodies can supposedly "bounce back" sooner.

"I feel the pressure of raising and making babies. But at the same time, I really want my career to blossom. I'm planning to wait to have another kid. Whether or not I will have a flat stomach, or be able to recover as fast isn't too much of a concern."

5. We do let our kids use tech, but we're careful about it.

"So many working moms my age definitely do give their kids tablets or let them watch TV to entertain them because it's convenient. I know it's awful, but it's like another babysitter. Having her watching TV is like buying me free time. I don't see much harm in it since we balance out screen time with other activities, like playing games, taking her to the playground or reading her books."

6. We're not all anti-vax.

"I'll be perfectly honest with you, I used to be anti-vaccination, but your mind completely flips when you have to bring your child to daycare. Yeah, it would be nice if she didn't have to be vaccinated, but at the end of the day I want her and everybody around her to be protected."

I'm a Stay-at-Home Mom & I Resent My Partner for Having a Life

I'm a Stay-at-Home Mom & I Resent My Partner for Having a Life My husband and I had just finished putting the kids to bed, and I nuzzled into the couch. I cracked a beer and opened a book, exhaling all of the angst from the day. My husband sat down next to me and didn’t waste any time before asking, “Hey, mind if I go golfing on Saturday with the guys?” I immediately inhaled all of that stress right back in, and it turned into resentment — the hot, hot resentment known specifically by stay-at-home moms. My body stiffened, and I pursed my lips. “How many holes?” I asked. “I mean, probably the entire 18,” he said. “Sure,” I said clutching my book. “The kids and I will just go to my mom’s for the day.

7. We still feel exhausted.

"Since I'm considered a younger working mom, I'm presumed to have more energy. So when I tell people I'm tired, it's not taken as seriously. But what human being has a lot of energy after a 12-and-a-half-hour shift? I feel like a 90-year-old sometimes."

8. We're not all lazy or entitled.

"There's this whole idea that Millennials feel entitled to free education and social security and a house with a white picket fence without actually working for it. But actually, we are working for it. But right after college it can be hard to get a job. A lot of Millennials don't have their own house. It's just too expensive because the cost of living is high. A higher education is now so much more expensive too, and it's raising every year. I don't think we're entitled. We just want what the other generations had.

"I started working right out of college, and have never stopped. But to be fair, it's a job that's in high demand. I'm always looking for opportunities to advance my career, not just for financial stability for my family but for my own personal development."

9. We're not all obsessed with posting about our kids on social media.

"Many of us did not grow up with our parents documenting every single thing we do, so even though a lot of people on social media will post a lot about our kids, not all of us do. I'm very careful about what I post about my daughter in order to protect her privacy. I try to choose only appropriate pictures. It scares me when some of my friends overshare stuff, since you never know who might be seeing those photos. Many of us are very aware that the photos we choose to share of our kids may later end up embarrassing them."

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