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Entertainment I'm masturbating then!

14:35  24 october  2020
14:35  24 october  2020 Source:   glamour.de

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The apartment door closes with a "click". I look up from my laptop and listen. One step and the next: my friend is going down the hall stairs. Then a bang. That was the heavy door to the back yard. I jump up from the sofa, set our office communication tool “Slack” to “in a meeting”, rush into the bedroom and position myself like a spy to the left of the window frame. Cross-eyed, with snail eyes, I watch my partner finally ride his bike to go shopping. The air is pure. I rush to the door, lock the lock, leave the key in and turn the security lock three times until it clicks. No, I'm not afraid of burglars. I want to masturbate. Urgent. I'm under pressure. For hours. Oh what, for days. And I'm not in the mood for my boyfriend to suddenly be in the bedroom in five minutes because he has forgotten something and catches me between the legs with my favorite dildo "the boss" - that's really his name.

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masturbation-aufmacher-quer © Getty Images masturbation-lead-across We all do it - what's the problem then?

Is that totally silly? In any case. Do I still perform this ritual regularly? Definitely - although my job is to write about sex and relationships. I am uncomfortable admitting that. But even for me it is not always easy to just put down what I have learned. Masturbation seems to be the only thing that I can't talk about as easily with my partner or my mother, for example, as I can about anything else related to sexuality. Masturbation, along with things like popping and peeing in the bathtub, is one of the few things that we just ignore, even though we all know that almost everyone does it regularly. Masturbation has a special place, so we were taught.

As a child and adolescent, masturbation was something that you did in secret, that you didn't talk about and where you certainly didn't want to be caught by your parents. Even today my toenails flip at the thought. And faculty wasn't much of a help either. When in doubt, they added shame by standing there with their heads reddened and declaring: boys sometimes masturbate and girls have a vagina. Thanks for nothing.

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Our sources of information about the secret world of masturbation were the last pages in the Otto catalog, where you could buy dolphin-shaped vibrators. Those pages were as forbidden as those with the naked people in Dr. Summer part of Bravo. So of disproportionately great interest for my friends and me. Otherwise there were only dingy sex shops in the Bahnhofsviertel with cabins that we children found more than suspicious. Thank God.

"And how often do you do it like that?"

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Since then we have come quite a long way, at least in terms of sales of sex- Toys concerns. Because today, twenty years later, toys are sold as lifestyle and self-care products, just like electric toothbrushes and facial massage rollers. That's pretty cool. The selection also leaves nothing to be desired and has definitely filled the gap between natural dildos with veins and vibrators in the form of marine life. So you could say that masturbation has reached the middle of society. If you could, if it weren't for the problem of talking about it.

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How often do you ask your friends casually: “And? When was the last time you really worried yourself? "Or:" So sometimes I do it five times a day, you know? " Or: "Yes, and then I did it on the kitchen table and in front of the mirror in the hallway". Sounds wrong. Just why? From a mathematical point of view, sex in which two or more people are involved should be "more embarrassing" because more people touch each other and put things into themselves. More people are more "embarrassing". Actually a very simple calculation. Even so, it is much more normal and common to talk to friends about partner-like sex. At least since Sex and the City. Also loud enough that you can entertain the whole restaurant with it: “Yes, well, at least he did it to me twice with his tongue and I gave him a blow job. Tell me, do you always blow with gummy? Excuse me, may I borrow your salt for a moment? ”

Doesn't feel so strange at first because we constantly share the quantity and quality of partner-like sex with our closest confidants. And that's important because it's fun and because it creates comparative values. At this point of normality, we should finally come to the topic of masturbation, because solo sex is at least as important. Incidentally, also in a relationship. And that brings me to the next point.

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Masturbate while sweetheart reads the newspaper

If it is strange to talk freely and openly about masturbating with your best friends, it is probably even more uncomfortable for most of you to have your partner during breakfast small talk that you, after having eaten the second half of your jam roll, you would like to spend half an hour undisturbed. But that's exactly where we should get to. After all, masturbation is not a substitute or an indicator that you are dissatisfied with the performance of your partner: "Sorry, you can't do it right now, that's why the boss has to take action now." That is complete nonsense. It is an act of self-care to which one must have free access even in a partnership.

So that's exactly what I've done now. Because living together, plus COVID, plus working from home together, push me to my physical and mental limits, especially on the days before I ovulate. Or to put it more simply: I almost burst, I'm so horny. Just being able to let off pressure when my friend goes shopping is not enough. That also does not correspond to the rules of lust. It cannot be timed. In addition, I honestly imagine living out my sexuality differently: more relaxed, more relaxed, more pubic.

The first few times I had to prepare myself with palpitations to let my friend know that I am now going to do it myself. But it's getting easier and less and less strange. Incidentally, we discussed together that I would like to handle this from now on. He respects my needs and I respect his. If I leave now, I'll let him know briefly, whereupon he usually gives me a kiss and wishes me a lot of fun. I still sometimes pull off my old ritual, just out of habit. But in between it is now more and more often: "I'll masturbate then." What a relief.

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